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Open Poetry #42

Not the Poem

Claira
Member

since 2008-05-11

Posts 102
British but living in Thailand

0 posted 2008-05-12 06:44 AM

Not the Poem

I am not the poem
The poem is not me
They're only words in my head
That tell you what they see

I am not the poem
Though perhaps I used to be
But life moves on and people change
Therein lies the key

I am not the poem
There really is no plea
They help me find answers
Make certain I don’t flee

I am not the poem
The poem is not me
Sorry to reiterate
Now time for a cuppa tea

(Inspired by Writing Down the Bones - Natalie Goldberg)

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

1 posted 2008-05-12 10:29 AM

I like this, but then again, I would like anything that leads to a cup of tea

good write

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

2 posted 2008-05-13 03:26 PM

Claira,

This is very good work. Dropping the last two lines would make it better. They rather break the spell.

Bobby

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2008-05-15 02:33 PM

This cute poem ~ you may or may not be,
But may I join you for that cup of tea?

Nice to meet you, Claira the Brit living in Cambodia!

Earth Angel

shyvl
Senior Member

since 2008-04-11

Posts 531
texas, usa

4 posted 2008-05-15 03:37 PM

Lovely poem. Good structure. I agree with the leaving out of the last set. Thanks for sharing
sharyn

"God made you as you are
in order to use you
as He planned" J.C. Macauley

Claira
Member

since 2008-05-11

Posts 102
British but living in Thailand

5 posted 2008-05-19 01:03 PM

Sorry for the late reply, thought I'd already done it...

Thanks for the comments, I probably will change this sometime in the future, when I know I won't mess it up

Earth Angel, anytime you want to drop by for a cup of tea is fine.

that goes for anyone else on PiP as well.

Claira

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

6 posted 2008-05-24 01:30 AM

I am really glad
that you and the poem
seem to be partners though.

Alison

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