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Open Poetry #42
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Jaime's conspiracy theory challenge
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Jaime's conspiracy theory challenge |
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Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
For Balladeer, because he has a since of humor and of the ridiculous things that go around pop culture. ... and also for Alison ... and for Midnitesun, ... and for ... and for ... and ... The government knows that the South won the civil war. But it wants to brainwash children by teaching them the government version of history. The government knows who shot Jack Ruby, but they are keeping it a secret. An Australian scientist says the atmospheric temperature of Mars has risen about 1.5 degrees C. since yesterday. This is being caused by the Pentagon bouncing satellite signals off Mars. The government knows that Martians do exist, that they do watch Dallas, and that they are living on a part of Mars called area 52 located in the Teethes Ocean. The government doesn't want you to know about this, pursuant to a peace treaty Bush has concluded with the United Federation of Martian citizens. So, don't you think the government should tell us what it knows? How can you believe whatever the government says? So if this is a secret then how do I know all this? Why, I could go to jail! ... You wouldn't want me to go to jail, now would you? Well, come to think of it, maybe you would. O, and I forgot ... Leave your freezer open all the time, because it helps global warming! Make up a farfetched conspiracy theory of your own to explain why things are the way they are. It's fun! The more farfetched, the better! :-----) |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
I liked your write and your challenge. I'll post my answer to your challenge in "Amway and Obama" |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
The truth is all government officials are clones. Created in super-secret laboratories, DNA is taken from ordinary individuals, refined, processed and turned into smooth, polished, glib-talking and unfeeling beings. They are given ficticious pasts and enough money to set them apart from the masses. The hair, makeup, clothing and polished shoes are always without blemish of any kind. They are the Stepford Senators. Since they have no true feelings of their own, it is easy for them to pass laws making life unbearable to their constituents. Tax raises mean nothing to them. Inablilty to come up with benefiicial programs, like health care, does not interest them. Of what use is health care to a clone? When not on camera, they are stored in a basement deep in the Pentagon , only to be brought out for senate meetings, speeches and Hollywood cocktail parties. The DNA contributors are given large sums of money to keep their mouths shut, and also promises of lifelong vacations at some garden spot like Guantanamo should they ever divulge their secret. The real Nancy Pelosi is a night waitress at the Waffle House in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Al Gore sells dental hygiene products in Iowa. Ted Kennedy runs the "Dunk the Clown" booth at Dollywood and Barack Obama is a male model for bobblehead dolls. George Bush? Well, that was a problem. The DNA just wouldn't take and the real one got into office! Not really his fault he stumbles in his speeches and doesn't know what fork to use. He's the only real one there! Soon he'll be gone and congress can get back to sending in the clones  |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Enjoyed both Jaime's write and Balladeers reply and also Steaphen's ... Love, Margherita |
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Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
Bal and Steven. I love it. isn't this fun! Secret communications I have received from the planet Mars had let me to believe that the aliens were going to come here and take over. I even called the FBI for confirmation but, you know what? They wouldn't even talk to me Because it was after five o'clock and the FBI was closed, so I left them a voice mail. |
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Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
Balladeer. Since Al Gore sells dental and oral hygiene products, this would give him some expertise on what to do about greenhouse pollution (for those of you in Rio Linda and Palm Beach county that means carbon dioxide) which results from combustion and oxidation, that is, what you exhale). As for oxidation I cannot explain what oxidation is to you. It is too complicated. I just don't have time, particularly if you live in Dade or brier counties, which I believe lie south of the Equator anyway. There has been a military cue on the planet Mars, according to the Martian Times. According to the Times, to which no one on Earth but me is allowed to subscribe, the Martian dictatorship has reached an agreement with the Bush dictatorship. Under the terms of this agreement, which defines what Martians may or may not do on Earth, Martians must: A. limit their visits on Earth to twenty minutes; B. must remain invisible at all times, and; C. They must not leave behind any evidence that they were here, such as chewing gum, newspapers, etc. This last provision in the accords, which Bush was compelled to sign under alien torture, was insisted upon by the UFO lobby in Washington. To pressure the government the aliens first had to convert their weird currency into oil stocks so they could buy out Halliburton, which necessarily involved massive manipulation of the Terrestrial money markets. It was important that Earthlings not find any evidence of Martian visitations because, since it could not be demonstrated that Martians are not visiting, therefore they ARE coming here. In other words, the lack of evidence is itself evidence of alien meddling. It is of course obvious that alien visitors, who have mastered the mysteries of faster-than-light interstellar travel etc, would certainly be smart enough not to leave any traces that they were here for Earthlings to find, such as full ashtrays, beer cans, etc. The cosmic vibrations from the planet Mars are really bugging me right now so I will have to stop. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Jaime, Try wrapping your head in aluminum foil( and don't buy that crap about "brand name" being better, it all works). Also, I would be careful about who you share your theories with, for some time it was suggested Balladeer might actually be alien. This was later disproven as we found empirical proof that "deer" never populated Mars. On a lighter note I do hear that henceforth there will be no further sales of crude oil, at the price they're charging today OPEC and all other oil producing nations have decided to change its name to " Liquid Gold". The Scotts Company has agreed to relinquish trademark rights in exchange for one way tickets to Mars where vehicles are powered by solar wind. I will keep you updated as more information becomes accessible. Doc |
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