navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #42 » From a Winter Sky
Open Poetry #42
Post A Reply Post New Topic From a Winter Sky Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA

0 posted 2008-05-06 02:23 PM


I am the Archer
against the Milky Way sky,
chasing the tail in the aiming eye.

My arrow drawn,
dare I let it fly,
and risk it all—my purpose die?

Who from thence would sing of thee,
O aimless arrow flung far and free!



[This message has been edited by gilead (05-07-2008 09:57 AM).]

© Copyright 2008 arthur chapman, jr - All Rights Reserved
gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
1 posted 2008-05-06 03:00 PM


I think of those stars in formation without an observer for billions of years, until we came along to give them names. Then how brief our lonely hour to sing of them before we die.

Art

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
2 posted 2008-05-06 03:55 PM


Art,

The idea is there, however, the construction is odd.

Bobby

gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
3 posted 2008-05-06 04:11 PM


Thanks, Bobby. The poets often think of longevity and impermanence, and it often leads to feelings of loneliness.

Art

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2008-05-06 06:32 PM


Art, this is simply awesome!

Love,
Margherita

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2008-05-06 08:39 PM


A cosmic, atrological delight!!!

Love & Star Light,
EA

gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
6 posted 2008-05-07 09:21 AM


Thank you Margherita, you're so cool, and so kind!

Art

gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
7 posted 2008-05-07 09:24 AM


Thanks so much, Linda. I love the coinage---artological! You have such a way with   the language we love---poetry!

Art

gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
8 posted 2008-05-07 09:28 AM


Per your revised comment, Bobby, yes, it is still a little work in progress. I revised it three times before posting. I have been known to revise until there's nothing left that resembles a poem!  

This is the result of a little note I scribbled in my journal on my Birthday last December.

Thanks again,

Art

gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
9 posted 2008-05-07 10:00 AM


Hi, Bobby. I think the lack of punctuation in the prior version added to the awkwardness in the meter of certain lines. I've attempted to improve the poem's readability.  

Thanks,

Art

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
10 posted 2008-05-07 04:17 PM


With my knowledge of Astrology, you know I loved this one, Art.

"I am the fishes
swimming upstream
and down,
In murky waters
or crystal steams
I may be found."
                                 Ida

gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
11 posted 2008-05-07 04:37 PM


Hi, Ida. Thanks so much. Your knowledge of astrology is vastly superior to mine. I noticed the poem you included was set in quotation marks. Is it a work in reference to Pisces? If not, please advise!

Thanks, Art

gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
12 posted 2008-05-07 04:59 PM


On the other hand, Ida, perhaps I shouldn't be so lazy, and do a little research!

Art

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
13 posted 2008-05-07 05:07 PM


I just wrote it myself as a thought about the astrological sign.
                            Ida

gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
14 posted 2008-05-07 05:11 PM


Thanks, Ida, now I can go on in pursuit of laziness! But let me add, I enjoyed the poem!

Art

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
15 posted 2008-05-07 10:09 PM


ouuuu! I really Enjoyed..



ARCTIC WIND

shyvl
Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531
texas, usa
16 posted 2008-05-08 12:48 PM


This truly incredible.  The way the words flowed together into a seamless thought.
enjoyed it greatly
sharyn

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #42 » From a Winter Sky

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary