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Open Poetry #42
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2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea

0 posted 2008-05-03 03:41 AM


When we live in Paris
we dream of Los Angeles,
When we drive in Los Angeles
we dream of Rio de Janeiro,
when we samba in Rio de Janeiro
we dream of Sydney,
when we romance in Sydney
we dream of Paris,
so we come full circle
as to love someone else
is a road to love oneself.

[This message has been edited by 2islander2 (05-03-2008 07:29 AM).]

© Copyright 2008 yann rolland - All Rights Reserved
shyvl
Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531
texas, usa
1 posted 2008-05-03 03:54 AM


Great rhythmn as always but these last three lines are superb.  
"so we come full circle
as to love someone else
is a road to love oneself."  I keep looking for hidden meaning and finding more to ponder.  It will be on my mind all night. Thanks sharyn

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
2 posted 2008-05-03 11:43 AM


You poetry gets better every day, yann. There are lovely thoughts behind this one.
                                   Ida

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
3 posted 2008-05-03 11:59 AM


Yann,

This is an improvement over your last one.

A good source of information on Standard English Grammer is "The Cambridge Grammar of the English Language" by Huddleston and Pullum.

It's a beautiful language.

Bobby

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
4 posted 2008-05-03 02:39 PM


Thank you sharyn, your comment made me happy...

  yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
5 posted 2008-05-03 02:41 PM


Hi Ida, I am not stressed cause I know you read between the lines and understand poetry with mistakes...

  Thanks

   yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
6 posted 2008-05-03 02:46 PM


Bobby thanks for the information, I'm not familiar with english grammar and I'm afraid reading a grammar book would be boring and austere....However if this book is cheap i would perhaps buy it....

I think you should better get used to ups and downs in my poems...

  thanks again

     yann

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
7 posted 2008-05-03 04:13 PM


Yann,

No, it is not an inexpensive book, and it can be boring.  

I like your poems, and as I say, your grammar is improving steadily.

Of course my own grammar leaves loads to be desired.

Bobby

Larrysmom
Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533
Florida, USA
8 posted 2008-05-03 04:29 PM


Yann, I think even I got the message that is between the lines of this one… I think it’s beautiful.

Tammy<333

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
9 posted 2008-05-04 04:19 AM


Thank you Bobby and Tammy, What is right for me may be wrong for others, I don't know.

  have a nice day

    yann

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
10 posted 2008-05-04 08:02 AM


ooh Yann you mentioned Sydney!   lovely gifting here... only 110 more sleeps until Paris for me!!   love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
11 posted 2008-05-04 08:45 AM


Hello Roniece, make good dreams, you love so much Paris, I envy you. I surely mentioned Sydney romance thinking about you.

  kisses

   yann

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
12 posted 2008-05-04 10:23 AM


Enjoyed the circling of the globe with you! I've seen far too little of it, myself!

"as to love someone else
is a road to love oneself."

~ Yes, and the converse is also true.


Linda

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
13 posted 2008-05-04 11:10 AM


Thank you Linda, your comment enlightened my poem specially the ending.....

   yann

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