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Open Poetry #42
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Thoughts on becoming invisible
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Thoughts on becoming invisible |
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TinaTrivett Senior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 569
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 Faint outlines of myself are all that's left They see right through me now...to the outside Green fields and pines and horses I'm slowly fading away to nothing I cry out, "I'm still here!" My ghostly frame walks these halls When I point out their flaws to be corrected, they direct all arrows my way Dimming my life-light even more Don't they see I just want normalcy? I want to come home exhausted, knowing my lover waits to hold me I want some praise for accomplishments, but they never come I want their eyes to light up when they see me But they can't see me When the children were young, I was in technicolor That old peacock had nothing on me When I was young and taut and nubile, my lover saw me every time But now my aging outline is barely there Soon to be gone...invisible |
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| © Copyright 2008 Tina Trivett - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Yes we have to fight to be seen as we age and become unnecessary. Very well done. Love, Joyce |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Tina, Well said. I always look for your poems xoxoxo A |
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TinaTrivett Senior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 569 |
Thank you Alison & Joyce. Much appreciated.  |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Tina, there was a time when I, as well, felt that I was becoming invisible. You wrote convincingly of how it feels to be "slowly fading away to nothing". Thankfully, I now see myself in all my glory! lol May this be true for you as well! I know one thing for certain about you, you are one talented writer! I truly appreciate your poetry! Loving, compassionate hug, Linda  |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
loved this... jimmy |
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TinaTrivett Senior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 569 |
Thank you Jimmy & Linda. Thank you for the kind words Linda...they mean a lot. ((hugs)) back. |
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gilead Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067nevada, USA |
Very fine poem! But like Earth Angel, I am aging well in my 66th year, and it's that utter invisibility in death that gives me pause to meditate. I can relate, however, to the fact that we are but shadows of our former selves, when we were in the springtime of life, warbling like the "sweet bird of youth"! My regards, Art |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Tina... What a poignant, sad write. I say, pick up a pot and a spoon and bang away! No one needs to fade away, ever! Write on! This is a  ...because it makes for a good reminder... |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
This is a sad but thoughtful and well written poem. I think we definitely have some adjustments to make as we grow older. I try to be as interested and interesting as possible. I try to keep my "voice of experience" under control and complain as little as possible about my health issues etc., realizing that this can be depressing for others. None of this is easy, of course. I always enjoy your writing, you have much to offer. Ida |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Very sad and emotion filled Write Tina! ARCTIC WIND |
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TinaTrivett Senior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 569 |
Thank you to all of you who responded. I'm having a rough go at things lately... |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
Oh this incredible poem brought me tears... So passionately and beautifully written. Tammy<333 |
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