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Open Poetry #42
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HM3
Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 169
TX

0 posted 2008-04-25 07:24 PM


A shadow in the room
Feeling so consumed
Grief tearing me apart
With just a broken heart
And my shadow in the room

A shadow in the room
Surrounded by the gloom
Death had left behind
Wandering through my mind
And my shadow in the room

A shadow in the room
Where love became entombed
But swells within my heart
So tomorrow I will start
To heal
My shadow in the room

Work like money doesn't matter, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching...



© Copyright 2008 Mark Ozee - All Rights Reserved
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

1 posted 2008-04-25 07:52 PM


I really liked the structure of this one...and specially liked how that when you broke that structure, it drew attention to the healing...well done
shyvl
Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531
texas, usa
2 posted 2008-04-25 08:02 PM


I as well, liked the structure and repetition of your poem.  Pleasure reading it.  Thanks
sharyn

Caliban
Member
since 2008-04-23
Posts 57

3 posted 2008-04-25 09:40 PM


To echo the others, the structure was interestingly done. Very subtl. Nicely done.

Muna seasaimid le ceartas, nĂ­ sheasfaidh ceartas linn - Francis Bacon

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2008-04-25 10:56 PM


Interesting Write Indeed!!



ARCTIC WIND

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