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Open Poetry #42
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DarkenedOrange
Junior Member
since 2008-04-21
Posts 13


0 posted 2008-04-23 02:21 AM


The intensity of the symphony resembles the intensity of my life
The bows of the strings moving so rapidly
Up and down
Up and down
The music fades into the background


I notice a violin player
She herself is music
Her body moves with the rhythm
Even her hair obeys
When will I obey my music?
When will I get in rhythm?


An old couple sits in front of me
She has to wake him up when he snores
I grow older, but no one wakes me up.


Two hours have now passed
(Well not really, I mean I am writing this a couple of days later)
And all I have done is stare at this girlish figure in the fifth row
(I am listing to it on MP3 to help remind me)
Dark music comes from the lower sections
Tuba’s, French Horns and Euphonium
All of them sing to who it is that I am
I can no longer pretend


The song has a happy ending
Sounds like “c-minor” finally made it to “c-major”
(Like I really know
My program tells me so)
If only things really worked out this way in real life.
The great men of the past would have jumped on stage and like Romeo himself
Proclaimed his love for Juliette
All without the benefit of knowing her name
Sadly, I am not great
I live my life trying to figure out her name



© Copyright 2008 Max Bardus - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2008-04-23 10:58 AM


Well, dear Max, now stand up and go tell her. You ARE unique and great in God's eyes and as such you ARE capable of being a very special tune that longs to be perceived  by the "unnamed violin player" ....

Very intense, very beautifully written.

Love,
Margherita

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
2 posted 2008-04-23 11:56 AM


Yo DarkenedOrange,

It looks as though you saw something you like in the orchestra pit.  Well, that's good.  It kept the music even more interesting.

I really like your poem a lot.  It's very well done.

Bobby

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

3 posted 2008-04-23 03:36 PM


"Her body moves with the rhythm
Even her hair obeys"

Loved this line...how it refreshes the memory...seems like I just lived it all over again...

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2008-04-24 04:35 AM


Wonderful...James
Seoulair
Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea
5 posted 2008-04-25 12:31 PM


very good. very good. Interesting and lovely.
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