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Open Poetry #42

The unspken rule

x-tears-x
Junior Member

since 2008-04-13

Posts 43
England

0 posted 2008-04-16 06:30 PM

A crowded room,
Buzzing conversations,
First Impressions,
Are the foundations,
Lots of new faces,
Trying to figure out,
You and other people,
What everyone’s about,

There’s a lady with a smile,
Crying on the inside,
A man who looks happy,
With a son who’s died,
An old beggar in the corner,
No one goes near him,
But he’s the most interesting of all,
However dark and grim,

Silent words are exchanged,
Glances between familiar friends,
Clashes of opinion,
They never end,
Like two sticks rubbing together,
Some people alight,
But others are the water,
Trying to stop the fight,

Smiles with hidden truths,
Shoot across the room,
Though everyone knows the meaning,
These are smiles of doom,
Strangers do not mix,
It is the well known rule,
Though a rule never spoken,
It effects us all,

shyvl
Senior Member

since 2008-04-11

Posts 531
texas, usa

1 posted 2008-04-16 06:34 PM

Interesting mixture of charactors. Sad but true about strangers unfortunately we are all strangers once.
sharyn

[This message has been edited by shyvl (04-16-2008 09:23 PM).]

ilsm
Member

since 2008-04-13

Posts 61
UK

2 posted 2008-04-16 07:21 PM

Hi X-tears-x

I enjoyed reading your poem very much. You have made some fine observations about people in awkward situations and have really got inside their heads. I especially liked your simile about the sticks being rubbed together, which you then extended when you spoke about the water putting out the fire. Some people can dampen the highest spirits, can't they?

I also liked the style you used, 8-line verses with rhyming snd non-rhyming lines. Even though some of the lines were of irregular length, the work was very readable while still recognisably structured. Well done.

ILSM

x-tears-x
Junior Member

since 2008-04-13

Posts 43
England

3 posted 2008-04-16 07:25 PM

thanks everyone

Seoulair
Senior Member

since 2008-03-27

Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea

4 posted 2008-04-17 01:04 AM

interesting poem. People do have masks but it put a heavy weight on heart.
enjoyed your poem.

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