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Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

0 posted 2008-04-09 04:05 PM


The first warm day of spring
finds Sally,
and some of the other members
of the girl gang
sitting on their front stoops,
showing off
new babies born in winter.  

It’s a beautiful sight
in the neighborhood—
except of course,
for mean old "Ebenezer Scrooge",
who sits decrying
the run-a-way increase
in the urban population.

Bobby

[This message has been edited by Robert E. Jordan (04-09-2008 09:55 PM).]

© Copyright 2008 Robert E. Jordan - All Rights Reserved
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
1 posted 2008-04-09 09:49 PM


I like this a lot - except the name "Ebenezer Scrooge".  I am not sure why that didn't sit right with me.  Maybe it is a bit of a cliche in a very good poem.

Alison

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
2 posted 2008-04-09 09:54 PM


Alison,

Thanks dear.  I'll put it in parentheses.  Yes, Ebenezer did say something like that in Charles Dickens’s "The Christmas Carol"

Bobby

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2008-04-09 09:58 PM


Thank you, Bobby.  I like the poem lots.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
4 posted 2008-04-09 10:28 PM


Alison,

It’s very much a Charles Dickens type neighborhood.  Oliver Twist and Bill Sikes live here.

It's also loaded down with wonderful people.

Bobby

Bob K
Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208

5 posted 2008-04-09 10:43 PM


Dear Robert E.,

          Always a bit of trouble untangling writer and speaker in your wonderful poems, so it's difficult to reply sometimes and to offer good feedback.

      The speaker in the poems is generally presented as a kind of a naive guy.  You, I hear, have published and can give good advice.  You, Robert E., probably know quite a bit about Charles Dickens, or at least "A Christmas Carol."  Maybe more than I do, since I'm not big on Dickens.  

     "Scrooge" may in fact be entirely appropriate for your particular area in Philly.  The problem is that it may be difficult to find enough of a readership who feels that in bones and bellies not to hear the reference as an off note.
I think there's more likely been a confusion of voices between Felix and Bobby and Robert E. and for a moment the poem isn't sure who's talking.  The rest of the poem sounds like Felix's spokesperson/friend/alter-ego Bobby
(If I have my Jordan-speak right).  

     Now you've got me all confounded again.  With admiration, BobK.



Seoulair
Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea
6 posted 2008-04-09 10:52 PM


See them. love the poem.
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
7 posted 2008-04-09 11:02 PM


Thanks Bob K,

Felix, Bobby, and Robert E. Jordan are all one big, naive, happy person.

It can be confusing.

Try to enjoy the stories.

You might find my other books more organized, and coherent.

"City Boy Stays Alive" is my autobiography, Muck is a book similar to "Felix", and "Marika" is about a female Felix.

You can read an outline of the other book I have written at Amazon.com, under the name Robert E. Jordan.  The E. stands for Edgar.

Bobby

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
8 posted 2008-04-09 11:06 PM


Seoulair,

Thank you for your more than kind words.  

It means a great deal to me that you can see my neighborhood, Sally, and the other mothers with their babies.

You've made my day.

Bobby



Larrysmom
Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533
Florida, USA
9 posted 2008-04-09 11:29 PM


Bobby? I think Felix and Sally are my neighbors…



Tammy<333

sewasham
Senior Member
since 2006-09-11
Posts 714
Oklahoma, USA
10 posted 2008-04-09 11:43 PM


Always enjoy your unique writing Bobby. Good job. Take care and Have fun. Steve


Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11 posted 2008-04-10 12:12 PM


Tammy<333,

Sally and Felix would make good neighbors.  The wonderful folks next door to me have six kids.  They are all great.

That's one thing great about my neighborhood, no one gossips.  We all have our own dirty little secrets, so no one bothers to ask, or talk.

It's great.

Bobby

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
12 posted 2008-04-10 12:14 PM


Thanks Steve,

I'm very pleased that you enjoy my writing.  I enjoy your writing too.

Bobby

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
13 posted 2008-04-10 12:28 PM


I do like this Bobby... I could see Sally sitting on the stoop with all her friends... lovely... love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
14 posted 2008-04-10 12:35 PM


Dear RDB,

I'm pleased you can see it.  It happens every year.  You might think we have kids running all over the place here.  Yes, we do.  They're wonderful.

Bobby

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
15 posted 2008-04-10 05:15 AM


Enjoyed...here we see the moms walking the new kids in the mall...or we hear them while eating at Dennys...James
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
16 posted 2008-04-10 07:56 AM


James,

That sounds good too.

Bobby

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
17 posted 2008-04-10 08:09 AM


I love the scene, it is really refreshing and I love the title too.

Renewal, Spring, life's highlights.

Love,
Margherita

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
18 posted 2008-04-10 08:39 AM


Margherita,

Yes, it could happen any day now.  I'll be out in front of the house in my foldable lawn chair.  It's starting to get warm.

Bobby

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
19 posted 2008-04-10 10:57 AM


condoms...I swear by them!
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
20 posted 2008-04-10 11:42 AM


Passing shadows,

The girls swear by them too.

It's a very Catholic neighborhood.  That's just the way we are.

Bobby

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