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| Open Poetry #42 |
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hiddensmiles Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514at the beach... i wish |
this poem i do not know what it is and its not very good so anything to make it better is welcome ***** when she exhales her lungs grasp for more when she lets go her hands cling to more when her heart breaks she mends it with tears when her life seems over she opens a new door when she dies what will she be remembered for ***** JJ [This message has been edited by hiddensmiles (04-08-2008 08:58 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 JJ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
You may want post it in CA to get "professional" help. I love the bone of the poem. When she exhales her chest grasps for more when she lets go her hands cling to more when her heart breaks she mends it with tears when her life seems over she spots a new door when she dies Her wish will live forever my 1 C |
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hiddensmiles Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514at the beach... i wish |
i like the way you split it up JJ |
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