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Open Poetry #42
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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2008-04-02 07:50 PM



The sun came up
as it had
every other day before

rage rose
through my throat,
tightening
not in time,
a scream as ancient
as the pain it sought to relieve
raced
a torrent of broken tears
and halting cries
toward flight

birds sang
as they had
every other day before

the injustice
of normalcy
when nothing, nothing
would ever be just,
again
rolled over me

I felt air,
weak air
move slowly through my lips
whispering it’s lame escape,
no grief released
only energy spent

and I,
crumpled
under burden of
a world, heavy
with emptiness,
watched night fall to black
as it had
every other day before


(for Myrtle)

© Copyright 2008 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2008-04-02 07:52 PM


where have you been hiding?  Or is it just
me?   either way, nice seeing you...nice
peom.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2008-04-02 07:58 PM


Oh dear Dunc, there is such a huge lump in my throat after reading these words! As good as it is to read you again, this...is painful. You have expressed empathy for another's absolute sorrow and agony so tenderly.
Seoulair
Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea
3 posted 2008-04-02 08:01 PM


very touching!!! The emotion was deep.
wonderful poem!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2008-04-02 08:02 PM


All I can do is nod and *touch the screen*

wb lovie


Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
5 posted 2008-04-02 08:07 PM


This touching poem I understand all too well.
Beautifully written.
                             Ida

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2008-04-02 09:41 PM


Touching screen, m'friend...

Myrtle, and others,
have passed too soon...

you know where I am.

For I am where you are.



Thank you for coming home, if only
for a dream of a moment.


Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
7 posted 2008-04-02 11:32 PM


welcome back Duncan... your heartfelt words are felt... this is beautiful writing here... love and hugs .. RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
8 posted 2008-04-03 12:31 PM


welcome home
Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
9 posted 2008-04-03 10:21 AM


nice

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2008-04-03 10:29 AM


Very very touching write, the sorrow and sense of emptiness are deeply felt.

Love,
Margherita

gilead
Senior Member
since 2008-03-10
Posts 1067
nevada, USA
11 posted 2008-04-03 11:23 AM


The power of words is manifest here in a profound and deeply moving way.

Art

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
12 posted 2008-04-03 11:31 AM


thank you, for you truly understand me and I do not know how I lived the first half of my life without what you give to me.

This grief is so different from what I have experienced before and without your support I would fall apart from the weight of it.  

one year has passed so quickly.



"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

13 posted 2008-04-03 12:46 PM



Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment.  It is most appreciated, especially given my absence and lack of interaction here of late.
In way of explanation, I will offer this...
My Mother died last year, after a relatively brief struggle with cancer.  A few months later, Susan Caldwell (Myrtle) endured the death of two young friends of her family, who she'd known and watched grow along with her own kids.  We have talked, consoled and supported one another through both situations in a variety of ways.
I have tried on several occasions to write through what I've experienced since my Mom's death, but with very little success.  Then, a few days ago, Myrtle was relating her own difficulty dealing with the upcoming anniversary of Matt and Chelsea's murder and she asked me to try and write something for her.  I won't say it turned out to be my best effort, but I was, at least I think I was, able to capture the absolute emptiness loss brings, in contrast to the face of a world oblivious by the cycle of it's own routine, to pain as old as life itself.  And by doing so, by finding the words to express Susan's grief, I believe I found a breath of my own.
So, thank you also, Myrtle, my dearest friend...  



Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
14 posted 2008-04-03 06:14 PM


Still dabbing my eyes over this one.
I knew who it was written for the moment I read it.
You've always had a way of cutting through to the core, Duncan.
Thank you for writing what many of us felt but could not adequately express to Susan.
PS, my email changed, follow the Pips link if you have a spare moment.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
15 posted 2008-04-03 06:29 PM


"the injustice
of normalcy
when nothing, nothing
would ever be just,
again
rolled over me

I felt air,
weak air
move slowly through my lips
whispering it’s lame escape,
no grief released
only energy spent

and I,
crumpled
under burden of
a world, heavy
with emptiness,
watched night fall to black
as it had
every other day before"

this says so much of the feelings one has  when there is a loss...
Nice to read you again, Duncan

M


LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
16 posted 2008-04-03 08:16 PM



A very poignant post Duncan

My sympathy to you and Susan.

Lindsay

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
17 posted 2008-04-06 04:51 AM


felt you every step of the way .....

Ct

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
18 posted 2008-04-06 11:20 AM


Duncan....To share sorrow in this way is a gift that death brings...seems so strange that out of mourning, such love can be born.  Hugs!
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
19 posted 2008-04-06 07:25 PM


hey you.

i dig.

you have a unique voice that suits loss, enunciates it in such a way that all can not only understand, but feel.

missed ya

Larrysmom
Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533
Florida, USA
20 posted 2008-04-06 08:08 PM


You have made me cry... I know these feelings. I know them too well, and you have done them more than justice with your pen…
Thank you for this…

Tammy<333

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

21 posted 2008-04-16 09:05 PM



Sorry to be late, I've just now been able to check in.  Thank you all for the time and thoughts.
Sure wasn't the easiest bit I've ever written...  
Sorry it made you cry, Tammy, but thanks for understanding.

C...I wrote you at the ego addy?????  No response, slacker!?!?!

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
22 posted 2008-04-23 02:14 PM


totally self-serving of me to bring this back up...but I need it today...so I am re-giving it to myself...

Dunc

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
23 posted 2008-04-23 07:21 PM


D - that one hasn't been active for a while (see what happens when you ditch out on your friends??? )

use chris_gward@hotmail.com and I'll give you my non-junk addy.


shyvl
Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531
texas, usa
24 posted 2008-04-23 09:24 PM


Sometimes the sun does the impossible-rising again after such a loss.  I sympathize with your loss.
sharyn

r v wooo
Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656

25 posted 2008-04-24 08:36 PM


am new to the forum and am not aware of much of the history of the poetry expressed. the writings and comments,discovered in "loss" have given some awareness and understanding.
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