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Open Poetry #42
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Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

0 posted 2008-03-21 11:31 PM


Felix watches his
eleven year old son
Angelo’s eyes
when he sees his basket
Easter morning.  

It’s a delight for him.  

He remembers back to Easter
in foster care
when he was eleven.  

It was his first year
in foster care.  

Mom had always managed
to make up a basket,
and give him
some little Easter treat.  

When he was eleven,
the closest Felix came to Easter,
was cleaning up after
his foster brother James
had gotten sick
from eating his Easter candy.  

It was an Easter
Felix never forgot.  

Bobby

© Copyright 2008 Robert E. Jordan - All Rights Reserved
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
1 posted 2008-03-22 12:46 PM


Sunday we're having a big Easter egg hunt for a lot of kids. We do it every year. I so wish Felix could come. Easter wasn't much for me either so this is my way of making up for it.
                                   Ida

poddarku
Senior Member
since 2008-01-15
Posts 589
india
2 posted 2008-03-22 02:02 AM


it is wonderfully soothing and nostalgic

clever talks delay friendship!

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
3 posted 2008-03-22 02:05 AM


Happy Easter Felix, Sally, Wawa, Butch and the gang... Happy Easter Bobby   love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2008-03-22 06:33 AM


Enjoyed reading this...I liked getting all those eggs and candy...it was lots of fun...James
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
5 posted 2008-03-22 02:08 PM


Ida,

That's a great idea.  There was an Easter egg hunt across the street at the playground this morning.  The playground is totally paved.  It was fun for the kids from the hood anyway, they loved it.  It wasn’t so much of a hunt.  It was more of a chase.

Bobby

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
6 posted 2008-03-22 02:09 PM


Poddarku,

Thanks for your kind words on this.

Bobby

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
7 posted 2008-03-22 02:10 PM


Dear RDB,

Everyone here in Philly wishes you a happy Easter too.

Bobby

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
8 posted 2008-03-22 02:13 PM


James,

You're the "good" James, you deserve good stuff.  The one in this poem is the bad James.   He deserves to be smacked around a little bit.  Sally and Felix will take care of that later.

Bobby

oceanvu2
Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066
Santa Monica, California, USA
9 posted 2008-03-22 02:14 PM


Hi Robert:  Strong stuff when you relate it to Easter as chocolate bunnies as opposed to Easter as Easter.  None of the characters make the leap, which is a fine statement in itself.

I question the syntax of the first stanza.

"Felix watches his
eleven year old son
Angelo’s eyes
when he sees his basket
Easter morning."

I understand that it means "Felix watches the eyes of his eleven year old son, Angelo..."  Could it stand a little clearing up?

Best, Jimbeaux  

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
10 posted 2008-03-22 02:29 PM


Thanks Jim,

I feel it is quite clear, and understandable the way it is.

Bobby

oceanvu2
Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066
Santa Monica, California, USA
11 posted 2008-03-22 02:55 PM


Hi Bobby.  OK.  It was just a thought.  At least I resisted the temptation to rewrite the lines.  

Are we similar?  I don't mind suggestions, but I don't take too kindly to people who rewrite other people's poems.  

Not so much in this forum, but in C/A, we get a lot of rewriting of complete poems.  I used to do that too, but I've changed my mind completely on it's usefulness to the author.  And it now seems wildly presumptuous.

Ida:  I either did it to you sometime back, or wrote an entirely different poem on the notion of "screeding."  Sorry 'bout that.  I learn as I grow.  Although, at my age, you'd think I might have caught on sooner.

Best, Jim Aitken  

[This message has been edited by oceanvu2 (03-22-2008 05:39 PM).]

Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
12 posted 2008-03-22 03:25 PM


Dear Bobby,

I do so want to invite Felix to our big Easter egg hunt in my yard tomorrow.  I am expecting about thirty adults and children for dinner and our annual egg hunt.  May he find the joy in his son's Easter that was denied him in his childhood.  I am glad his mama tried.   Love, Joyce

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
13 posted 2008-03-22 04:21 PM


Dear Jim,

Thanks, I don't think people should try to rewrite other peoples poems.  It's like trying to seal a persons soul.  It can't be done, and shouldn't be attempted.

BTW, what is C/A?

Bobby

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
14 posted 2008-03-22 04:26 PM


Dear Joyce,

I would love to go to your Easter egg hunt.  It must be fun.

Here, the eggs are spread out on the concrete surface of the playground early in the morning.  The kids are there with their small baskets, or empty pockets.  At a signal, the rush to the eggs is on.  It's great fun, and the little ones don't fight over the eggs.

Yes, Mom tried real hard.  She was an angel.

Bobby

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
15 posted 2008-03-22 05:14 PM


I totally agree with you Bobby that no one should ever rewrite someone else's poem. I'm a very good natured person but that would make me mad and I agree It's like stealing someone's soul.
                                 Ida

oceanvu2
Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066
Santa Monica, California, USA
16 posted 2008-03-22 05:29 PM


Hi Bobby and other non-re-writers.  C/A is the Critical Analysis forum at PiP.  I get a kick out of posting poems there because people yap on at length.  And it's still just yappin'!

Got you email address.  Your book is coming from Barnes and Noble, and they are letting me down on their 2-3 day service.  

Support the poets!  Pay retail!  

Jim Aitken

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
17 posted 2008-03-22 05:50 PM


hi bobby, i enjoyed reading your poem and the comments whith go along (is that correct?)...In France too Easter egg hunt (strange word) makes children happy and running in the gardens...I would like to make Felix smile someday....

   regards

    yann

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
18 posted 2008-03-22 06:01 PM


Dear Ida,

I'm glad you agree.  Rewriting someone’s poem is a little bit presumptive.

Bobby

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
19 posted 2008-03-22 06:04 PM


Dear Jim,

Thanks for ordering my book.  Yes, money is a nice thing, and I hope that you will enjoy the read.

Bobby

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
20 posted 2008-03-22 06:07 PM


Yann,

Thanks for the kind words on the poem.

It's easy to make a Felix smile.  Just decent treatment will most times do the trick.

Bobby

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
21 posted 2008-03-22 06:16 PM


Infinitely painful moments for Felix. Those moments create trauma lasting for a lifetime sometimes, but with love healing is possible.

I feel with Felix, very much. The concise direct form of poetry you use never fails to impress.

Happy Easter!
Love,
Margherita

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
22 posted 2008-03-22 06:27 PM


Dear Margherita,

Thanks Hon.

Luckily, Felix has known a lot of love in his life, from many wonderful people.

It is still a mystery to Felix why it is that way.

I'm pleased you enjoy the way I write.

Bobby

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