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Open Poetry #42

A Fair Warning

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

0 posted 2008-03-19 05:59 PM

While I am floating along with the bark of hope,
An oceanic wave of despair hits me of course,
The wave is like a compass, pulling me down like rope,
I can't speak, it's like my throat is hoarse.

Many people at this point will give up or surrender,
Not me, I will never stay down like the snow in december,
Never lay down or stay down, never say never,
And I will keep this mind set, so it will last me forever.

Now you're probably saying, ''Wow he's very optimistic'',
No, I'm the opposite, I'm very pessimistic,
That doesn't mean I wont fight for what's right,
I will continue to fight, until my life's in the light,

And this isn't just a poem, but a fair warning,
For my heart is wicked, it's evil, it's storming,
I will blast any of you who try to get in my way,
So head this warning, and in your mind let it stay.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2008-03-19 06:16 PM

XTr3m3sT,

This is pretty good.

Be careful of the words "wont" and "won't". They have very different meanings.

Bobby

xTr3m3sT
Member

since 2008-03-03

Posts 415

2 posted 2008-03-19 07:36 PM

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