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Open Poetry #42
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xTr3m3sT
Member
since 2008-03-03
Posts 415


0 posted 2008-03-19 05:59 PM


While I am floating along with the bark of hope,
An oceanic wave of despair hits me of course,
The wave is like a compass, pulling me down like rope,
I can't speak, it's like my throat is hoarse.

Many people at this point will give up or surrender,
Not me, I will never stay down like the snow in december,
Never lay down or stay down, never say never,
And I will keep this mind set, so it will last me forever.

Now you're probably saying, ''Wow he's very optimistic'',
No, I'm the opposite, I'm very pessimistic,
That doesn't mean I wont fight for what's right,
I will continue to fight, until my life's in the light,

And this isn't just a poem, but a fair warning,
For my heart is wicked, it's evil, it's storming,
I will blast any of you who try to get in my way,
So head this warning, and in your mind let it stay.

© Copyright 2008 xTr3m3sT - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2008-03-19 06:16 PM


XTr3m3sT,

This is pretty good.

Be careful of the words "wont" and "won't".  They have very different meanings.

Bobby

xTr3m3sT
Member
since 2008-03-03
Posts 415

2 posted 2008-03-19 07:36 PM


Ty
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