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Open Poetry #42
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Jaime Fradera
Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843
Where no tyranny is tolerable

0 posted 2008-03-19 01:30 PM




The House of Cards

It is very late at night.
I have been with a girl I'm very fond of
but now I have to go home.
I don't know where I am
or how to find my building.
We find a man who knows which one it is
and he offers to take my friend and me to it.
I want to let my friend
have a peek of my new pad
and we begin to walk.
But instead of walking in the usual way,

I walk by using my hands

to push my legs in walking motion.
The place I've been assigned to live in
is way out in the back,
and seems to be a hole
or a cave under the ground
and cold water constantly trickles through it.
I wonder how often
I have to clean my side of the house.
The single room is so tiny
that I can reach across it.
The ceiling is so low
there isn't room even to stand up.
Two other guys live there,
but one of them does not come home.
I don't know why I live in this place.
The structure is composed
of dilapidated flimsy plastic;
it is a house of plastic cards,
so thin and rickety

that one might knock it over
or kick a hole through it.
I wonder why no one has done so.
We reach my door.
After many, many good-bye hugs

and  passionate kisses,
and pledges that we will talk again sometime very soon,
she is gone.

I try to unlock the door.
Then I remember that it doesn't have a lock,
which is why it cannot be unlocked.
I hear music blaring in there
and the rock music is far too loud.
Being careful not to knock the rickety thing down,
I open the dilapidated door
and it is blocked by a high stack of cases and cans.
They are having
some kind of drunken party in there.
I can not get in.
I wonder vaguely
if they are going through my belongings.
I cannot get in.
I cannot come home.
I don't know where I am.
I will have to find
some place to sleep
outside.

© Copyright 2008 The Sun - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2008-03-19 07:37 PM


Jaime Fradera,

This is good writing, and I enjoyed reading it.

Bobby

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
2 posted 2008-03-19 07:40 PM


Jaime,

This poem reminds me a lot of Alice in Wonderland - I really like it. And I am glad that you are posting again .. I have missed you.

Alison

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2008-03-20 07:49 AM


Another enjoyable read, Jaime. Nice card playing!
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