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Open Poetry #42
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Another Main Event - Effjayel and Balladeer
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Another Main Event - Effjayel and Balladeer |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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The audience was ready in the stadium last night, Anticipation wild to see the much-awaited fight. The title held by Balladeer, who won all fights hands down Against the brassy youngster who had hopes to wear the crown. The kid had built a rep by beating high school girls and kids And figured that the Balladeer was ready for the skids. He thought his youth and vigor would tear Balladeer apart..... No wonder they say high school kids today are not too smart! The ring announcer's voice rang out in tones both strong and loud Which echoed through the hall and settled on the screaming crowd. "In this corner....", he proclaimed , as came a thunderous cheer, "The champeen of the entire world - our hero - BALLADEER!!!!" The floorboards shook...the rafters trembled at the hearty roar That rose up like a giant tidal wave upon the shore While Balladeer just waved his glove, then winked and gave a smile That made each female heart take wings....that Balladeer had style! "And in this corner, weighing in at not too many pounds, (with bookies taking all bets he won't make the second round) The champeen of his Junior class, about to go to Hell... Let's hear it - and give last rites - to the challenger Effjayel!!!" The crowd went wild with catcalls and, instead of their applause, Responded with huge belly laughs and uncontrolled guffaws. Effjayel just stuck his middle finger in the air (but, since he had his gloves on, no one knew that it was there!) The sound of bell !!! and what the crowd had waited for began! The champion and the upstart, each to prove the better man. Effjayel had his guard up while our Balladeer just stood Arms down, inviting wonder boy to hit him if he could. Effjayel threw a couplet that was miniscule, at best Then followed with a haiku that bounced off the big man's chest. He tried a small acrostic that had no chance for success Blank verse was written on his face...he really was a mess. Now Balladeer would take his turn....a sonnet to the jaw! Sestina to the kidneys! Ouch! There oughta be a law! A ballad to the belly then a cinquain to the cheek! Poor Effie's eyes were glassy and his knees were getting weak! The champ was getting stronger with each new punch that he threw. He feinted with an ode - then hit him with a clerihew! Lampooned him with a limerick and, just before the bell, He knocked him off his feet with his most stirring villanelle! Poor Effjayel couldn't keep his feet - he landed in a lump. Instead of being champ, he found that he was just a chump. He hadn't realized how many weapons Bal amassed But now he knew, when challenging, that he had been outclassed. The Balladeer still rules the ring....the challengers are few. The kids all want to knock him off his perch but that's not new. He takes them all on, one by one, and when all's said and done The crowd still calls his name, proclaiming he's the only one. And Effjayel? Life's not been kind to he who would be king. He spends his time in honky-tonks with beer and chicken wings. When someone asks him what is wrong, he says - with both eyes moist - "I coulda been a poet....", in a Marlon Brando voice. So that's the way it was, my friends. I saw it all, you know. The night that Balladeer, the king, had put on quite a show. It may not be the best - it wouldn't rival Dempsey and Tunney But I can tell you, friends, I saw it all and it was funny!!!! |
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| © Copyright 2008 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Wonderful...with new rounds to come I'm sure...no ear bitting...James |
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Bonnie j Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588Ohio |
I wonder if the youngin' knows what he is up against.Toerag will chew him up and spit him out and you dear Deer are a little stinker for sure. Poor, poor, effjayel. He better sneak up from behind to catch you two off guard. You and your pals always give me a good laugh. You all bring light and sunshine on a rainey day.... also.....maybe a little ice, muddy slush, high winds(tornado)floods, famine, lightening from above. Dah! That's all I can think of for the moment. See Ya Good Jobber Hugs BonBon  |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Floats like a butterly Stings like a bee His words and his talent, would dazzle John Keats. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
An outstanding example of 'poetic' justice!!! Balladeer, you ARE the King! Long live the king! However, I must go kiss the wounds of my newbie friend, and make them all better. Poor lad, he has the heart of a lion ~ but the paws of a mouse. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Balladeer, This is fairly well done with good end rhymes. It's entertaining. Bobby |
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sewasham Senior Member
since 2006-09-11
Posts 714Oklahoma, USA |
I hate to say it John ole boy I fear you might get beat Watching it from ringside though has really been a treat Ole Balldeer’s a wily one he’s been around a while He can kick you in the groin while giving you a smile Ask ole Toe, ‘cause he’s been getting booted ‘round for years Balladeer’s the only one that’s brought ole Toe to tears They say be careful how you wish or else it might come true And now it looks like Balladeer has set his sights on you Better keep your guard up when you face the crafty vet Ole Balladeer most often gives out better than he’ll get I sincerely hope that when the reigning champ is through That there is still enough of you to make it to round two |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
HAPPY ST.PATRICK'S DAY  ARCTIC WIND |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Am I recalling this poem from a previous contender? Seems all too familiar...  |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I think it was that cinquain to the cheek that did the poor young one in myself. |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
And, there he is, The Champ. My Balladeer! Hip Hip Hooray! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Much enjoyed, you thuh mann. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Ya know, this is priceless. A |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
This is great, You guys keep fighting and writing and I'll keep reading. Ida |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
. Well done James, you got that right, get a ticket for your honey & back ME with your money ! Bonnie: Unfortunately, it is Toerag that has bitten off more than he can chew & is going to lose some teeth. I will not have to sneak up, I will come head on and beat them into submission. Toe, floats like a butterly ? I’ve not even thrown the 1st punch & you are confused already, as for stinging like a bee, I would have said nettle...the only dazzling involving ‘Deer will be when the Doc shines a light in his eyes.... EA, Thank you very much Ms Dowd But I shall prove you wrong Now please climb out of the crowd And put your clothes back on.... Bobby, I can always rely on you to say it as it is. I agree, it is fairly good. Not great, just fairly good.... Steve: There is no need for your concern Because I shall not lose As Balladeer is going to learn As he nurses each new bruise Watching from the ringside Will be the best vantage seat To see me whip his tired old hide In front of those who said he’d not be beat I’m sure ol ‘Deer has the odd trick Hidden up his sleeve But I’ll dispatch him double quick And you can watch him bleed I know poor Toe has been kicked about And has been for many years Of that there can be no doubt I have seen his cauliflower ears My greatest wish shall be granted And it will be music to my ears When I hear the crowd all chanting And Toerag leaves in tears I’ll put ‘Deer out of his misery As quickly as I can It will not go beyond round 3 I’m a sympathetic man AW, If I did not know you better, I’d think you were sitting on the fence here.... Sunshine, That would not surprise me. Would be just like ‘Deer to rest on his laurels.. Many a tired old boxer has come out fighting & relied on past tactics to find out that the newcomer is a lot smarter than the old dog.... Mysteria, That was a cinquain that hit me? I thought it was a gnat... OK Rose, the last good thing to come out of OK was the surrey with the fringe on the top.... after that it would be the bus leaving town. BTW, I would advise using spellcheck b4 you post, that would be CHIMP... Magnus, Yea ‘Deer.. Wo – man Alison, if you care to come along to the main event, bring your camera. You’ll make a bomb on E bay selling pics of ‘Deer laying in a heap... Ida, sorry to disappoint you, when I step up and he sees the look of steely determination in my eyes, it will be a toss up who runs for the dressing room 1st. ‘Deer or Toe... ‘Deer, I saved the best for last. Hang on, why would I reply to myself? Seriously, I believe in giving credit where it is due and this effort was not too tacky. I shall now go into training & hit back in kind but it would have been very rude of me not to respond directly to you on your post. I have no problem in acknowledging a former master. You were very good..... .......Once. . |
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sewasham Senior Member
since 2006-09-11
Posts 714Oklahoma, USA |
Ok Johnny, let's watch the Okie jokes! |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
Very nice poem Mike, I can almost hear the Max Kellerman warm up commentary for the next bout. “Here we are at ringside to see this triple match, It really is an honour for all of us to watch. The title’s for the taking, how will this tri-tie go? Which one will be victorious, Curly? Larry? Moe?” Only joking guys - honest!  |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Grinch? what's that, a reaction to reading substandard postings by the pretenders to the crown?? " I read it and grinched...." "It was quite an amaing sight Effjayel was the better man that night Poor Baladeer lost both ears And Toerag ran off screaming into the night.." Steve, I was under the illusion that OK Rose was one of the girly names that Toe hid behind.... |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
The Grinch is furry green and mean Some say obtuse, some say obscene. With termite teeth and hairy toes He struts around with upturned nose. He is a quite obnoxious fellow With bloodshot eyes a shade of yellow, He hates the world and loooathes each Who In Whoville. Oh! And Christmas too. |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
LOL!!! now I'm confused! should I be going for LongJohn or Balladeer?? loved this!! RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Roniece, always go with the 'deer! Who else write poems about Austrailian ladies? |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
You want me to put my clothes back on?!? ~ How refreshing! ~ or should I be insulted?!? Don't you like my ass-ets? |
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sewasham Senior Member
since 2006-09-11
Posts 714Oklahoma, USA |
Linda, I tried to warn ya! |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
hmmm.... well recently my sweet friend James wrote about Australian ladies on the beach! and ssshhhhh.... if I go for you then my sweet friend John will be upset, so perhaps I can barrack for you on the side? RDBBe kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Why not? I've been told I'm not a bad side dish You may be too much for me, though, as evidenced by my poem.... /main/forumdisplay.cgi?action=displayarchive&number=33&topic=002358 |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
quote:Rolf Harris, Kevin Bl&&dy Wilson, Bannanas in Pyjamas, Jason Donovan.... |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
James, I don't know how to tell you this but, Toe is a 'Bama man, RDB wants to barrack for him....do you see the connection? I'll spell it out for the jokie from Musgopee...Barrack "Toe" Bama... you may want to rethink your allegiance |
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