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Open Poetry #42
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hiddensmiles
Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

0 posted 2008-03-16 03:28 PM


this is just something that came to my head i dont know if its good i just wrote it...

Moms at work
Dads at work
There child is at home
all alone
feeling abandoned
and unloved

love is needed
for a healthy child
its a proven fact
without it you can die

he tried to get there attention
but they didnt see
the love that he needs

he sits there in front of there tv
playing video games
they dont know?
or do they not care?
he stays out of there way

the things he looks at
on his computer
they dont know?
or do they not care?
he stays out of there way

the things he says
and does
they dont know?
or do they not care?
he stays out of there way

the things he smokes
and drinks
they dont know?
or do they not care?
he stays out of there way

one day they might care
that they were to blind to see
all he did
was for love that he never had
but it didnt work

what is left for him to do
will he end up in jail
or on a bathroom floor
with pills every where

all these things could have been prevented
but they could never be away from they work
family was second place


© Copyright 2008 JJ - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2008-03-16 03:35 PM


Hiddensmiles,

This is an interesting write.

What is "love".  How do you define it?

Bobby

hiddensmiles
Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514
at the beach... i wish
2 posted 2008-03-16 03:56 PM


a warm personal attachment or deep affection/when you care so much about a person that you tell them all the time/you worry every time they go somewhere/you would risk your life for them/or even just a hug...you were probly confused when i said you can die with out it. the reason i said that is because.. orphans in africa and other places die because they get no love or affection they end up hitting them selves and bitting them selves because they have nothing else to do...these kids also have grown less and unhealthy; some even die..or they are always unhappy


Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
3 posted 2008-03-16 05:11 PM


Hiddensmiles,

I suppose you don't consider working to provide food, a house, and a warm bed part of it?

Bobby

hiddensmiles
Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514
at the beach... i wish
4 posted 2008-03-16 05:40 PM


yes i do that is a good point


hiddensmiles
Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514
at the beach... i wish
5 posted 2008-03-18 06:26 PM


But if the person you provide for are never told that you provide there needs, (through work) as an act of love(many just provide because they have to), and also this happens in familys where only one parents wage is needed to provide for there family. So if they would have a stay at home mom, thus providing more time at home, there children would get more attention and most likely be happier.But i understand that if they dont have the money they have to work alot of the time just to get by. But in this poem that is not the case.

JJ

[This message has been edited by hiddensmiles (03-18-2008 11:57 PM).]

hiddensmiles
Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514
at the beach... i wish
6 posted 2008-03-18 06:37 PM


i probably should have added that in the poem because i can see why that maybe unclear
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