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Open Poetry #42
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simon
Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 440
London, England

0 posted 2008-03-08 12:34 PM


Down on the neurological ward
We all really rue our luck.
Because whilst ordinarily we'd just be quite bored
We're trying to find something to do
But we're all really stuck.

The only thing that keeps us going
Is us trying to guess and assess
Who's the first? Who's the worst?
Who's the best?
Who's going to be toasted
As the host
Of next year's contest?

Who is it?
No-one knows for certain.
So we listen carefully to the private curtains
When the families come to visit.

My money's on the bed opposite
He's one of the Greats, a real World-Beater
9.8 on the stuck-o-meter.

His brain's riddled with some kind of a disease
That he probably caught off of a piece of cheese
And his wife's at the end of her tether
Trying to hold herself together
What's she supposed to do?
Her life has changed forever too.
And his Mum comes every day
Just to try and see him through.

Enter the neurologist,
Surrounded by his entourage
Of student neurological doctor staff.
Striding in like a King
Inspecting fallen soldiers
On the battlefield
In the aftermath.

And we just want to get some answers,
We don't like to make a fuss
And if anyone can
Then he's the man
To give what we need to us.

© Copyright 2008 Simon parr - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2008-03-08 12:43 PM


Simon,

This moves along well.  I'd avoid starting each line with a cap.  That's rather old style.

Bobby

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2008-03-09 10:43 PM


Like the flow of this...James
LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
3 posted 2008-03-09 10:57 PM



Yes I enjoyed your post Simon

Keep up the good work.

Lindsay

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
4 posted 2008-03-09 10:59 PM


This reminds me of a very dear friend of mine - his team of doctors march in but he doesn't seem to get any better.  His family is going to try to take him home tomorrow - maybe some sun, the sound of the ocean and fresh air will help.

We can all only hope.  Thanks for sharing this, Simon.

Alison

effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
5 posted 2008-03-11 04:01 PM


Simon, this was neatly put together & I liked it a lot, well up to your usual standard    John
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2008-03-11 04:35 PM


Simon, are you actually hospitalized and in the neurological ward? Or is this just poetry ~ but VERY realistic poetry!

I did get a chuckle out of your depiction of the doctor marching in like a king. Ofttimes I have thought that as well when I have gone on rounds with doctors.


Linda

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
7 posted 2008-03-11 05:22 PM


very realistic indeed!

ARCTIC WIND

simon
Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 440
London, England
8 posted 2008-03-11 06:12 PM


Fraid this is real, I was there for 1 week at the end of 2006. Thank you all so much for your comments...
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