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Open Poetry #42
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patience206
New Member
since 2008-03-07
Posts 8


0 posted 2008-03-07 07:03 PM


the revolution will not be televised
the revolution will not be televised
the revolution will not be televised
the revolution should not be televised
but mine was televised
and de-materialized before my eyes
i cried
as open eyes and thoughts of indifference
made entertainment of my lyric
and money of my thought
i will never sell myself but others dream of being bought
receiving pennies for their thought
making revolution an illusion
dreams schemes
and money absolution
i've been robbed of my language
unique words assimilated and made aimless
all for the sake of sameness
so i rebel with this poem
it still remains expected
you'll clap for this poem with timed shouts of acceptance
and i'll cry for my poem
when they comercialize my anguish
i'll die for my poem so you can hear an echo of my language.  

© Copyright 2008 cameron k. bridgeman - All Rights Reserved
xTr3m3sT
Member
since 2008-03-03
Posts 415

1 posted 2008-03-07 07:27 PM


Excellent starter poem to start of your experience here at Pip.

Welcome

LadyTom
Member
since 2008-02-29
Posts 353
LA, CA
2 posted 2008-03-07 07:51 PM


Very good and very emotional.

A warm welcome to this wonderful PIP blue land.

openthoughts
Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 94
Where the child can be free
3 posted 2008-03-07 09:11 PM


I normally don't post responses.  However, this poem is far more than deserving.  I see enormous potential in your writing.  It is careful, deliberate, and with strong purpose.  Naturally, there is room for improvement and I'm anxious to watch that improvement over time.  If this is your starting point, your ascent will be incredible.

By the way (and perhaps it's just wishful thinking on my part), I saw what I thought to be significant similarities between our writing in both subject matter and style.  You use some of the same techniques I do for what seems to be the same effect and I find your opinion in this poem to be almost parallel to mine.

All in all, you've greatly impressed me and whether that matters to you or not as a writer, it's not something easily done.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2008-03-07 10:43 PM


WELCOME TO PIP!

ARCTIC WIND

effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
5 posted 2008-03-08 06:02 AM


Cameron, welcome to Passions and this is an excellent first post, I look forard to reading more of your work...John
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