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Open Poetry #42
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ILoveTheRain
Member
since 2008-03-02
Posts 157
GA

0 posted 2008-03-06 05:32 PM


Time

As time passes by slowly
You are running through my head
Left me here unknowingly
Leaving me in dread

I have known you since I was little
Never broken apart
You have always been my friend
Always from the start

As time passes by slowly
I miss you more everyday
Remembering those wonderful times
We would go outside and play

No matter the distance apart
You will always be my friend
Forever until death
All the way at the end

As time passes by slowly
I know I will see you again
I will see you in the heavens above
When it comes my time to ascend


RIP Haley

© Copyright 2008 Jessica - All Rights Reserved
xTr3m3sT
Member
since 2008-03-03
Posts 415

1 posted 2008-03-06 05:35 PM


Excellent, as always.

A lot of raw emotion in this poem,

simon
Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 440
London, England
2 posted 2008-03-06 05:36 PM


This is a lovely tribute. Thank u for it.
N.B- I think you mean 'ascend' rather than 'descend'

ILoveTheRain
Member
since 2008-03-02
Posts 157
GA
3 posted 2008-03-06 05:37 PM


My bad. Thank you so much.

And thank you for the great comments.

Paul Wilson
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Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
4 posted 2008-03-06 05:50 PM


Rain...Touching write. Much feelings in your words. Enjoyed...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
5 posted 2008-03-06 06:15 PM


There you go Jess, good job....very well done. Looks like I got some serious competition bearing down on me !  John
ILoveTheRain
Member
since 2008-03-02
Posts 157
GA
6 posted 2008-03-06 06:36 PM


Haha if you say so! You have a wider vocabulary that I do, lol.
effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
7 posted 2008-03-06 06:45 PM


Allegedly my vocabulary is so wide
I can fit a Dictionary ,Thesaurus & Encyclopeadia in there side by side

ILoveTheRain
Member
since 2008-03-02
Posts 157
GA
8 posted 2008-03-06 06:48 PM


It must be easier to write. I struggle, trying not to repeat words. I have to try my best to have mine in perfect rhythem and rhyme.
effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
9 posted 2008-03-06 06:58 PM


Write it down & don't worry about the rhyming etc at first. Just get the gist of it & play around. Sometimes I can write 7 or 8 lines then get blocked. Then I can sometimes make the last 2 lines the first 2, the 3rd one the last see what I'm saying? You ain't gonna break it I have even made 1 poem out of 2 or 3...
effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
10 posted 2008-03-06 07:00 PM


Tell you what I'll do. With your permission, I'll take one of your poems & break it down & re build it and see what you think?
ILoveTheRain
Member
since 2008-03-02
Posts 157
GA
11 posted 2008-03-06 07:00 PM


Go for it I would enjoy seeing that.
effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
12 posted 2008-03-06 07:09 PM


OK, give me a day or 2.....any one in particular or you want me to pick?
ILoveTheRain
Member
since 2008-03-02
Posts 157
GA
13 posted 2008-03-06 07:10 PM


Go with your gut.

I have some questions. Do you mind talking to me on another way of communication?
MSN? AIM?

effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
14 posted 2008-03-06 07:13 PM


Not at all, tho' I got to get my daughter to set MSN up for me, been threatening to do it for a while now....will let you know when it is sorted,
ILoveTheRain
Member
since 2008-03-02
Posts 157
GA
15 posted 2008-03-06 07:15 PM


Thank you, goodnight to you. And good luck on reconstruction my poem
effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
16 posted 2008-03-06 07:17 PM


Later....G'night
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