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Open Poetry #42
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xTr3m3sT
Member
since 2008-03-03
Posts 415


0 posted 2008-03-04 03:04 PM


As I am writing this my pain unfolds.
There is a lot of things in my head that needs to be told.
I am not a man I am a kid.
I go through pain just like all of you did.
Although I am a child I still know right from wrong.
Whenever I cry everyone thinks it's because of a sad song.
I am tired of all these outside interferences.
Just because my skin is colored we don't have differences.
Silence in my head rushes to my lips.
I can't say anything or else my heart will rip.
Please just make this pain stop.
Go on top of a bridge and take a big drop
As I plunge into the sea.
I told you, I told you I wanted to be free.

© Copyright 2008 xTr3m3sT - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2008-03-04 03:30 PM


Enjoyed this descriptive writing...reminded me of a woman I knew that would take drugs and drink alcohol when she would feel pain...to delay the pain...but it would always be there in the morning to awaken her..."Feeling your feelings allows you to know yourself and to embrace life fully."...p.268, If It Hurts, It Isn't Love, Chuck Spezzano, Ph.D.
xTr3m3sT
Member
since 2008-03-03
Posts 415

2 posted 2008-03-04 03:39 PM


Thank you for the comment btw  I don't do drugs or drink
effjayel
Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity
3 posted 2008-03-04 03:45 PM


xTr3m3sT, Welcome, I enjoyed this & you show promise.Personally, I think this could be better than it is at the moment & would benefit from you 'tinkering' with it a little. Just an observation not a criticism...enjoy the board,

John

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
4 posted 2008-03-04 03:54 PM


Yo xTr3m3sT,

This is fairly decent.

Be cool, and keep writing.

Bobby

xTr3m3sT
Member
since 2008-03-03
Posts 415

5 posted 2008-03-04 04:20 PM


Thank you all for your words
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2008-03-04 04:45 PM


"I don't do drugs or drink"...good to hear, good to hear...James
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
7 posted 2008-03-04 05:58 PM


I remember drawing a picture of despair when I was about your age. Think of what you have instead of what you don't have (talent for example) and you will start to
appreciate yourself more and feel better about others.
                             Ida

xTr3m3sT
Member
since 2008-03-03
Posts 415

8 posted 2008-03-04 06:09 PM


Thank you for commenting.

I'm bipolar and ever since I discovered poetry I have been hooked. It helps me release all the emotion I can't express in talking situations

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