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Open Poetry #42
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Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2008-03-02 11:26 PM


I will forget you

We were never lovers
As I was never loved

Your arms had disappeared
As there was no more warmth
My heart is now weighted
Though suddenly empty
I'm Small and dense like lead

My room keeps no flowers
It reminds me of fate

Instead I grow ivy
As I watch it never die


-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

[This message has been edited by Juju (03-03-2008 06:57 PM).]

© Copyright 2008 Juju - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2008-03-03 08:22 AM


funny how some people make you forget real quick



nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2008-03-03 09:13 AM


Instead I grow ivy
And I watch it never die...


that's the thing about ivy that I like, it is very hardy


M

LadyTom
Member
since 2008-02-29
Posts 353
LA, CA
3 posted 2008-03-03 11:01 AM


Very good. A very calm mind for life. enjoyed.
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2008-03-03 05:21 PM


It's Been awhile since your last poem!

Well written Juju

ARCTIC WIND

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
5 posted 2008-03-03 05:29 PM


Juju,

This is pretty good.  I like the last two lines.

I'd get rid of some of the "And"s starting sentences, and lines.

Bobby

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
6 posted 2008-03-03 05:58 PM


Thankyou every one, and Jordan your correct.  I was being lazy. I will fix it later tonight.

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

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