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Open Poetry #42
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2008-02-21 08:39 AM


The snow drifts between branches brown,
Each touch lightens them to white,
Yet most descends further down
As their bits slowly fills up the night;
Softly.

Street lights cast themselves in dark
Illuminating flakes as the pass by
To the benches and tables of the park,
The ground takes the color of the sky;
Softly.

She wanders midst the snow all alone
Barely seeing the beauty of the winter,
Yet all outdoors has become her home
For she has no door for her to enter;
Softly.

Cardboard covers and a blanket of snow
Beside a steam vent of an old factory
Is the only warmth this night will show,
Will there come a dream for else to be;
Softly.

Morning brings workers on their rounds
In heavy jackets and frosty breath
They find her prone upon the cold ground
Where to her dreams came with death;
Softly.

Gloom



© Copyright 2008 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
1 posted 2008-02-21 09:09 AM


The snow drifts between branches brown,
Each touch lightens them to white,
Yet most descends further down
As their bits slowly fills up the night;
Softly..."

Great start to this well written post!

I enjoyed post Gloom

ARCTIC WIND

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
2 posted 2008-02-21 03:39 PM


Touching and well written but so very sad.
Does what a poem should do.
                                Ida

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
3 posted 2008-02-21 05:20 PM


v. powerfully emotive write...

[also a most timely and grandly important 'social impact/conscience' penning...
would that America (particularly the 'rich and infamous' and the political 'powers
that be') was listening!]

serious, long-sustained applause!!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

4 posted 2008-02-21 05:33 PM


A softly written piece depicting the truths of life.  Always, a pleasure to read your words Proff.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2008-02-21 05:39 PM


Nice writing...James
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
6 posted 2008-02-21 05:41 PM


hmm interesting peice of work. not my favorite but its all-ight.  

~Zach~

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
7 posted 2008-02-21 09:04 PM


Thank you, Artic Wind,
Pleased you enjoyed.

Thank you, Marchmadness,
For the kind words.

Thank you, secondhanddreampoet,
For the praise.

Thank you, Gentle Spirit,
Always a pleasure to please you.

Thank you, JamesMichael,
For taking the time to read and respond.

Thank you, Falling Rain,
I am often not the favorite,
But that you’ll take the time to read
Is enough for me.

Gloom

MJ
Member
since 2008-02-21
Posts 60

8 posted 2008-02-21 11:20 PM


Beautifully written. This left me hoping she could finally feel the softness.
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