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ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

0 posted 2008-02-07 08:06 PM

** Please let me know which style you liked.

20 or less

   forgotten   rush
           overcomed
   smiling awhile

   endless folds
   in loving style
           holding true

   judgement of heart
   an oath ....
           never to part

"or"

the unforgettable rush
of a simple smile
the sudden warmth overcomed
tenderizing awhile

lost to each moment
time, endless in its unfold
in loving style

completely within its hold
a judgement of heart
released in its trial
never to ache, pull, or part

In rhythms to a rise the days shall follow ... each Yesterday, each Tomorrow.   -  Ct/05

[This message has been edited by ctowen (02-07-2008 10:09 PM).]

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

1 posted 2008-02-07 08:36 PM

Oh I liked the first one better. So clear and concise. Joyce

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

2 posted 2008-02-08 09:17 PM

one

direct , a jolt to the read to spring from her seat

effjayel
Senior Member

since 2007-09-30

Posts 1474
At the Crossroads of Infinity

3 posted 2008-02-09 06:12 AM

I used to be indecisive, now I just can't make my mind up, so I vote for both,

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

4 posted 2008-02-09 08:58 AM

CT...Both are great but I like the second one best, it feels like it has more raw feelings of emotion...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

5 posted 2008-02-09 09:11 AM

I like the second one. I like the sounds of your words,
and the feelings they evoke.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

6 posted 2008-02-09 09:23 AM

And behind curtain #2 -

'the unforgettable rush
of a simple smile
the sudden warmth overcomed
tenderizing awhile

lost to each moment
time, endless in its unfold
in loving style

completely within its hold
a judgement of heart
released in its trial
never to ache, pull, or part'

The winner !!!

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - noles1@totcon.com

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

7 posted 2008-02-09 11:55 AM

What A wonderful Write!

ARCTIC WIND

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

8 posted 2008-06-24 11:36 AM

forgotten   rush
           overcomed
   smiling awhile

   endless folds
   in loving style
           holding true

   judgement of heart
   an oath ....
           never to part''

I like both.....but the first style, is "you"

ME~

~~**~~
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain

graeshine2006
Member

since 2008-06-03

Posts 368
The Prairie Lands, USA

9 posted 2008-06-24 11:41 AM

Voting for two because I understood it.... one leaves to much for me to figure out.

My guess is that the more poetry one has read, the first write would be pleasing. So check back in a year, and maybe then I'll prefer number one!

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