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Open Poetry #41
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XOx Uriah xOX
Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403
Virginia

0 posted 2008-01-16 02:34 PM



Ray is angry at the wind
Knowing that it carried ill intentions

and the last bent screw
that held the twisted storm door
was cursed for being stubborn

The drill was temperamental
and the tail gate was kicked
on account of its spitefulness

It is Monday and Ray knows
it's going to be a rough week

He knows that God is testing him.

I wanted to ask...
If there had been a meeting
between Ray and his god...
with the wind and the door,
the screw, tail gate, drill
and the week all in attendance...
In which he had learned of this testing ?

But...
I cannot talk to Ray
when he is like this
and standing with a screwdriver
held in a tightly clinched fist...

Believing that he has hands

© Copyright 2008 Larry F. Leake - All Rights Reserved
TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
1 posted 2008-01-16 02:41 PM


I like this very much. made me think.
enjoyed.
Tom

simon
Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 440
London, England
2 posted 2008-01-16 02:47 PM


Wow!

I like this for the same reasons as I liked your previous works
but this is even better!!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2008-01-16 06:34 PM


He knows that God is testing him.


I feel this way lately~~

M

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2008-01-16 11:06 PM


I've been thinking about this one all evening.

There's a lot of philosophical meat to this, your metaphor is dead on balls accurate.

I loved this, and I wanted you to know that it resonates something familiar in me.

Much enjoyed.

tonyV
Junior Member
since 2008-01-14
Posts 36

5 posted 2008-01-16 11:42 PM


Superb, and touching. It's probably one of the best works I've seen here so far.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2008-01-17 05:55 PM


bump (and yanno? I'd love to see this in C/A)

not because I think it needs work, it does have all the elements I like, but I'd love to see more in depth commentary on this one.

I do consider this one of the best I've read all week, I'm just a little bit confused as I feel like something is missing. (prolly just my brain)

Back to the top, with a kiss for the ride.


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2008-01-17 06:06 PM


Sometimes it is...James
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
8 posted 2008-01-18 01:45 AM


There's something I like about this, it seems so honest.
                                Ida

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
9 posted 2008-01-18 11:59 AM


enjoyed
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