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Open Poetry #41
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Treagal
Junior Member
since 2008-01-08
Posts 38


0 posted 2008-01-15 12:33 PM


Swords to plowshares
Out of the ramparts of war
Letting down your battle hardened face
Into golden yellow fields,
Where you were once a child,
So cheerful and up beat-
But now the slowing beats,
Of a dead man's hand
Are all that you can hear.

Raising up to the sky
Your keen edged sickle
To cut down your new foe-
A tall yielding specimen
Of harvest times design.

So gentle a sway to the wind,
Flowing together as one.
If only the field of battle-
Could reap and sow like this.

© Copyright 2008 Treagal - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2008-01-16 09:43 PM


This evokes feelings of resignation and sadness.
Though I may not be reading correctly, it seems someone won (on a level?)a battle but lost the war.

Allogenes
Junior Member
since 2008-01-16
Posts 35

2 posted 2008-01-17 01:18 AM


    At first glance, this poem seems to depict a man desperately trying to adjust to the half-forgotten rigors of Peace Time Living after the de-humanizing experience of warfare: searching for his enemy in the fields of swaying wheat; unable to capture the lost innocence of childhood.

    The last line is haunting, and conveys to me an almost sinister undertone: it seems to say, in effect: "If only the enemy we're as yielding as this passive field."

    A good poem.

Treagal
Junior Member
since 2008-01-08
Posts 38

3 posted 2008-01-24 03:37 PM


Yes! Allogenes that was exactly what I was trying to convey with this poem! This is still a work in progress, but it def. feels sinister every time I read it at the end.
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