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Open Poetry #41
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That's Life
| Open Poetry #41 |
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That's Life |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity 
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Dear Sue I really feel like crying, my life is such a mess. My husband ran off with his best friend Bryan & took my favourite dress. I lost my job at Scottish Power after a big row with my Boss. Then I tried to drown myself in the shower but they cut the water off. I can’t keep up my lifestyle, I am consumed with debt. I haven’t had sex for such a long time (can’t afford the batteries for my Rabbet) Only 3 more shoplifting days to Christmas, the kids keep adding to their list. If I were not so broke & depressed, I’d get well & truly Blitzed. I cannot keep on fighting, so I know what I must do. I’m going to catch the next bus to New Brighton, & sail off into the sunset in my canoe… Miserable, Merseyside ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Miserable Merseyside, Behind every cloud, there is a silver lining. Although your wardrobe now has fewer clothes, it will cut down on the ironing. I understand that you’re upset, at not having a Man in your life, but my advice is not to fret because you could move in with His boyfriends Wife… I was sorry to hear you’d lost job, but it will work out for the best. With 7 kids you must be entitled to a few bob so get down to the DSS. Do not try to end it all, that would not be a good idea. Far better to have a really bad fall (trip over a Fa’lkestog, in the basement at Ikea?) Don’t try to keep up with the Jones’s, Cunningham’s or Byrne’s, there’s more to life than money, as one day you will learn. I know you won’t think I’m being funny; I’m on your side as you can tell. As for the problem with your bunny, have you tried using Duracell? It’s difficult to fill kids stockings, what with so much CCTV, and EBay’s prices are quite shocking when you add on P&P. Everything will fall into place so just keep up your chin; And don’t go getting off your face, by plying yourself with Gin. Be strong & do not brick it and let the fear give way to panic, and If I were you, I’d not get in a canoe; because it’ll probably get hit by The Titanic… Sue |
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| © Copyright 2007 John Lawrence - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU! !    ARCTIC WIND |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Cute write, gave me a laugh and I learned some English I've never heard (such as rabbet) Ida |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
hahahahaha |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
 If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
March, poetic licence at work.for Rabbet think Rabbit but it did not metre as well! The reference to the canoe which may not have made the news in your part of the world was the story of the guy who disappeared for 5 years & faked his own death by leaving a canoe on the shore. He got caught after posing in a foreign newspaper with his wife! This poem came to life after I wrote a thank you email to a friend that had helped me a lot during my illness. After I wrote the opening line, my fiendish imagination turned it into what I posted here. Thank you all for the replys & Merry Crimbo!! |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
 You had me chuckling from the start! How wicked!Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Gosh, I think you could have your own "Listen to John" radio call in show! Help for the helpless! lol I was aware of that news story that you mentioned in one of your replies. Not too bright posing for pics when you are supposed to be dead! May your Christmas be merry and bright and may 2008 bring you to full recovery from your recent illness!  Love & CHRIST-mas Light, Linda  |
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LadyTom Member
since 2008-02-29
Posts 353LA, CA |
Very entertaining. Yes, it is life. thank you John for the laugh. Aunt Tom |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Aunt T, that will be $3.50 + tax !! |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
Thanks for the laugh! I enjoyed this. |
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