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Passions in Poetry

That's Life

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effjayel
Senior Member
since 09-30-2007
Posts 1362
At the Crossroads of Infinity


0 posted 12-21-2007 03:10 AM       View Profile for effjayel   Email effjayel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for effjayel


Dear Sue

I really feel like crying, my life is such a mess.
My husband ran off with his best friend Bryan & took my favourite dress.

I lost my job at Scottish Power after a big row with my Boss. Then I tried to drown myself in the shower but they cut the water off.

I canít keep up my lifestyle, I am consumed with debt. I havenít had sex for such a long time (canít afford the batteries for my Rabbet)

Only 3 more shoplifting days to Christmas, the kids keep adding to their list. If I were not so broke & depressed, Iíd get well & truly Blitzed.

I cannot keep on fighting, so I know what I must do. Iím going to catch the next bus to New Brighton, & sail off into the sunset in my canoeÖ

Miserable, Merseyside

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Miserable Merseyside,

Behind every cloud, there is a silver lining. Although your wardrobe now has fewer clothes, it will cut down on the ironing. I understand that youíre upset, at not having a Man in your life, but my advice is not to fret because you could move in with His boyfriends WifeÖ

I was sorry to hear youíd lost job, but it will work out for the best. With 7 kids you must be entitled to a few bob so get down to the DSS. Do not try to end it all, that would not be a good idea. Far better to have a really bad fall (trip over a Faílkestog, in the basement at Ikea?)

Donít try to keep up with the Jonesís, Cunninghamís or Byrneís, thereís more to life than money, as one day you will learn. I know you wonít think Iím being funny; Iím on your side as you can tell. As for the problem with your bunny, have you tried using Duracell?

Itís difficult to fill kids stockings, what with so much CCTV, and EBayís prices are quite shocking when you add on P&P. Everything will fall into place so just keep up your chin;
And donít go getting off your face, by plying yourself with Gin.

Be strong & do not brick it and let the fear give way to panic, and If I were you, Iíd not get in a canoe; because itíll probably get hit by The TitanicÖ

Sue



© Copyright 2007 John Lawrence - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


1 posted 12-21-2007 02:14 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Nice writing...James
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


2 posted 12-21-2007 05:44 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!

!    
    
    
     

ARCTIC WIND
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8010
So. El Monte, California


3 posted 12-23-2007 04:31 PM       View Profile for Marchmadness   Email Marchmadness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marchmadness

Cute write, gave me a laugh and I learned some English I've never heard (such as rabbet)
                                    Ida
EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 03-08-2000
Posts 1705
Here, Now, Forever


4 posted 12-23-2007 04:51 PM       View Profile for EagleScorpion   Email EagleScorpion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EagleScorpion

hahahahaha
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 07-09-2000
Posts 2238
Baltimore, MD


5 posted 12-23-2007 05:00 PM       View Profile for Ceinwyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ceinwyn

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

effjayel
Senior Member
since 09-30-2007
Posts 1362
At the Crossroads of Infinity


6 posted 12-24-2007 09:16 AM       View Profile for effjayel   Email effjayel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for effjayel

March, poetic licence at work.for Rabbet think Rabbit but it did not metre as well! The reference to the canoe which may not have made the news in your part of the world was the story of the guy who disappeared for 5 years & faked his own death by leaving a canoe on the shore. He got caught after posing in a foreign newspaper with his wife! This poem came to life after I wrote a thank you email to a friend that had helped me a lot during my illness. After I wrote the opening line, my fiendish imagination turned it into what I posted here. Thank you all for the replys & Merry Crimbo!!
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 12-04-2001
Posts 3905
Texas, USA


7 posted 12-24-2007 12:53 PM       View Profile for Pilgrimage   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pilgrimage

You had me chuckling from the start!  How wicked!

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


8 posted 12-24-2007 01:10 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Gosh, I think you could have your own "Listen to John" radio call in show! Help for the helpless! lol

I was aware of that news story that you mentioned in one of your replies. Not too bright posing for pics when you are supposed to be dead!

May your Christmas be merry and bright and may 2008 bring you to full recovery from your recent illness!

Love & CHRIST-mas Light,

Linda

  

LadyTom
Member
since 02-29-2008
Posts 351
LA, CA


9 posted 03-07-2008 02:46 PM       View Profile for LadyTom   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LadyTom

Very entertaining. Yes, it is life.
thank you John for the laugh.
Aunt Tom
effjayel
Senior Member
since 09-30-2007
Posts 1362
At the Crossroads of Infinity


10 posted 03-08-2008 09:39 AM       View Profile for effjayel   Email effjayel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for effjayel

Aunt T, that will be $3.50 + tax !!
Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 03-03-2010
Posts 1185
Osaka, Japan


11 posted 10-07-2010 02:15 AM       View Profile for Earl Brinkman   Email Earl Brinkman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Earl Brinkman

Thanks for the laugh!  I enjoyed this.
 
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