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Open Poetry #41
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Jaime Fradera
Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843
Where no tyranny is tolerable

0 posted 2007-12-09 05:16 PM



My God, my God; what could be wrong with me?
Why am I feeling so very dreadful, so upset?
Who is going?  Who is coming?
Who is there for me and who is not?
Was I mistaken?
Where is the time?
What is happening?  Or what is not?
So tense, my skin feels always flushed.
My heart is always racing.
My hands feel cold and clammy.
a lumped lodged in my throat.
I am scared because I have high blood pressure.
My ears are even worse than usual, so much noise ...

My eyes ... this thing lodged in my throat.
It can't go on much longer.
Still it goes on and on and on ...
I don't want to take the other medicine for sleep,
because there are too many things to do by day, I think.
I really can't do Texas, not like this.
Not in this turgid, twiddling mess.  Not right now.
Not in somebody else's
strange and unfamiliar house, disoriented,
dependent on caretaker types for food, and everything.
I stay here, where I can feed myself.


Did I reach out from my insecurity and doubt,
and find that there was no one really there?
Because I wanted to believe that ... that ...
Was the hand I longed to hold not really ... not ...
It's true, the world is changing ... going ...
But I still have some magic tricks still up my sleeve.
Like the illusions that we make up for ourselves
when there is really nothing left to eat for dinner
and good night:
Illusions Like plates that never need refilling,
like bowls of nectar that are always full
like the finest, most expensive wine
that is ever flowing ...flowing ...
like a well of healing waters
that is always there to soothe and comfort.
There is another magic trick I have ...
I can dive into the archives, and what treasure is down there?
There are messages in there that someone loves me,
that someone cares and wants to tell me "Happy birthday, Jaime,"
that there's a box of magic cookies coming my way,
because I am so special.
But I can't be doing that too often.
I'd get too sick from all that sugar,
I'd get too old, and much too quickly.
And another piece of wizard craft I do:
I pretend that all these messages,
every single one of them, these strokes that I collect,
I imagine that they are all new.
And, you know what?
They are all new again!
strong medicine.
I can write no more behind my tears today.
So I will try writing in front of them.


They only hurt me when I laugh.
Southern Cross

(Oh, and did I tell you?
This time I can hear all the Christmas music
I could not even hear at all the year before).


© Copyright 2007 The Sun - All Rights Reserved
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
1 posted 2007-12-09 05:58 PM


At the risk of having my response eaten up, I wanted to say how happy I am that you can hear the Christmas music.  Jaime, I read your poetry - and there are times that I wish to say someething in repsonse, but I have this fear of being pushed away.  It's that human part of me, you know what I mean.

You remind me of a Holly plant  -- You know the carol "The Holly and the Ivy" - "the holly bares a thistle as sharp as any thorn".  Sometimes your thistle is a bit thorny (kind of suggestive, huh).

One thing about your poetry is that evokes emotions in me.  I can feel the sadness and I can get totally irritated.  Today, I thought that maybe the limb is strong enough to hold me if I respond.

I do think of you.  I think that you are going through some really huge things in your life.  I don't know you so won't pretend to know anything about you other than what I read in your poetry.

Sometimes it just sucks to be in the positions we are in - it sounds pretty sucky right now for you.

Just wanted you to know that I am listening.

Alison

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2007-12-09 06:04 PM


That's a very scary place you've described, Jaime. Please know that I'm thinking of you, m'friend, and that silence is sometimes just the voice of helplessness.

If mere words can comfort you, then I pray that mine help. *hugs*

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
3 posted 2007-12-10 03:05 PM


A strong flow of emotions...James
Just another Pete
Member
since 2007-12-06
Posts 74
Scotland
4 posted 2007-12-10 05:55 PM


It's a wonderful poem full of emotion and the rawness of life. Thankyou for the insight.
Pete.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
5 posted 2007-12-10 06:18 PM




I am with Karen and Aziza here.  I won't claim I know you because I hate when people to that do me.  But my heart and prayers go out to you.  I can't even begin to comprehend another's pain or life so I hope this response helps.

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2007-12-10 08:22 PM


~sigh~
What is life, but layers and layers of raw emotions, some soothing, some painful?
Most intense emotions are tempered by time and distance, while others nestle deep within the core of who we are, then ooze to the surface when reality pinches us. All the beautiful emotional moments remain yours to savor. They do not disappear, even if the source of the feelings is no longer present.
You are a wonderful, bright light on this planet. Don't ever underestimate your ability to illuminate this often-dark globe.
namaste, amigo....let your unique light shine
anyway, it's good to EMOTE

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
7 posted 2007-12-10 08:23 PM


if your full of emotions, JUST LET IT OUT



ARCTIC WIND

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2007-12-10 08:38 PM


Jaime I avidly read done the page soaking in each and every one of your thoughts and emotions ~ and feeling them. This was a raw, impassioned write and it just poured from your inner core and right down the page.

I have so much compassion for the struggles that you have daily in this life. I believe that you  deserve to have your next path in life to be paved in gold! Angel smiley face here.

You truly are a fine writer and its wonderful that you have writing as a creative, emotional, and philosophical outlet!

I was very moved by the power of this honest outpouring of the real you to your fans and readers.

God loves you, Jaime! ~ and so do we!

Linda

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