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Open Poetry #41
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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2007-12-06 03:14 PM


My angel with his
drunken wings,
his constant walking-
stum-ble-ing

And
I am abrasive-
I broke those things
this balance
that always hangs between

Where
my fingers twist
and grasp the rings
to pull him from
the everything-

But,
when do we fall?

    

© Copyright 2007 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2007-12-06 05:13 PM


Perfect!

Temperance is so hard to accomplish ... the lack of it so dangerous.

Beautifully rendered.

Love,
Margherita

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
2 posted 2007-12-06 05:24 PM


Allysa, I love the first stanza.  But those last five words in the poem were beyond love.  Fantastic.  

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Just another Pete
Member
since 2007-12-06
Posts 74
Scotland
3 posted 2007-12-06 05:44 PM


The tao of temperance - very much enjoyed.

Pete

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2007-12-06 08:07 PM


Yanno what I love about you? Is that your work keeps evolving, and while I am consistently thrilled with your poetry, I am always happily surprised as well.

Thanks Allysa, for joining us. (I've got 71 more cards up my sleeve.) No wonder I'm lumpy. *grin*


iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2007-12-07 12:23 PM


Wow, Allysa, this is so uniquely written and the ending just blew me away (along with that really great picture -- did you draw that??).  *hugs*....jo
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2007-12-07 12:31 PM


Allysa, I am always fascinated by the intuited interpretations of Tarot cards as opposed to the textbook versions. Mind you, I learned the latter and then tucked what I learned in the back recesses of my mind. I am a bit like Picasso in that regard ~ I learn the rules and then I break them! lol

I enjoyed reading your rendition of the Temperance card!  


EA

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

7 posted 2007-12-07 09:04 AM


Allysa,

reading you is like sipping slowly a fine after dinner brandy, soft with a slight aroma of almond, which is delightful and sooths the soul...with a surprise in each and every ending....

marvelous write....and so good to see you


jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
8 posted 2007-12-07 09:25 AM


Fantastic this was....very, very enjoyed...

jimmy

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