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Open Poetry #41
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Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794


0 posted 2007-12-05 01:58 PM


I am from blue jeans torn at the knee
from unused Lava and volcanic pumice
I am from the water that flows in Sand Creek
(murky, nebulous, smelling like frogs)
I am from the abandoned egg plant
the candle room
with its sulphuric rotten egg odor
that still lingers in my nostrils.

I am from potato soup and comic books
from imaginary friends
I am from the leave me alone
and from no, not now Jim
I am from weekday bible school
without a gold star
and go outside and play

I am from Edgar's and Ruth Ann's seed
Camel's and Pabst Blue Ribbon
from the belt my father wore
to the vacant stare
the eyes my mother had not to see

In my closet was a cardboard box
full of baseball cards
with smiling faces
to take me to anywhere
I am from my past
knee deep in Sand Creek
the smell of sulpher in my nose

© Copyright 2007 Tim - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2007-12-05 02:05 PM


Tim, you followed the guideline of Miss George perfectly.  I know I got a little off-track with mine; it will need a rewrite.

But not yours!


aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
2 posted 2007-12-05 05:16 PM


I get a picture as I read your words
and I catch the aroma of the sulfer as I read.

Much enjoyed.

Alison

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
3 posted 2007-12-05 05:48 PM


A challenge well met!
Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
4 posted 2007-12-05 05:53 PM


Clear and vivid images, dear poet, touching all the senses.  Thank you so much for your writing.

Patricia

lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
5 posted 2007-12-05 10:39 PM


Is Sand Creek a place..?

Much enjoyed, dale

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2007-12-06 12:27 PM


Tim.......I really enjoyed this look into the imagery of your beginnings.  
Misty Lilacs
Senior Member
since 2005-11-15
Posts 1060
White Birch Forest
7 posted 2007-12-06 09:07 AM


You conjured up memories of my own life with your words. I enjoyed this very much.
hugs, Marti

Home is not where you live,
but where they understand you!
       ~~ Cristion Morgenstern

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
8 posted 2007-12-06 09:13 AM


with smiling faces
to take me to anywhere


Enjoyed your poem greatly and the above lines are probably what connects us all, a place like a refuge.

Very intense, dear Tim!

Love,
Margherita

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
9 posted 2007-12-08 03:33 PM


This is deeply moving to me.  The not-now, go-play - sigh.  

The blank eyes of my own mother in deep depression, that did not see me.  You put it into words very well, though I think your mother's vacant eyes were avoiding seeing the belt.

Very clear description of Sand Creek!  Ugh!  Much enjoyed!



Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
10 posted 2007-12-09 05:32 AM


Tim... I did so enjoy your lovely words - it would be a nice place to visit I think.. RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

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