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Open Poetry #41
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aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

0 posted 2007-12-04 01:30 AM


Age Racer


Crevices and wrinkles canvas her face
Steps stumble, betray determination
Old age, undaunted, fights to win time’s race

Fingers tremble, refuse to stay in place
Body rests in quiet meditation
Crevices and wrinkles canvas her face

Once a New York walker who set the pace
Mind and body war in confrontation
Old age, undaunted, fights to win time’s race

Cane’s rounded handle tight in palm’s embrace
Hazel eyes glitter, spark indignation
Crevices and wrinkles canvas her face

Braves geriatric chapters with subtle grace
Incapacity gets no attention
Crevices and wrinkles canvas her face
Old age, undaunted, fights to win time’s race


Alison





[This message has been edited by aziza (12-04-2007 03:02 AM).]

© Copyright 2007 Alison - All Rights Reserved
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
1 posted 2007-12-04 01:48 AM


Nice writing, Alison, as always.
                            Ida

TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
2 posted 2007-12-04 02:12 AM


This is very good. I just learned this style from Sir Brad' poem Mt.Halla.

very good.

Tom

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
3 posted 2007-12-04 02:31 AM


Ida

Thank you
You are sure kind to me
-- and you know, I love it!

Alison

---

Tom

Thank you.
I have been working on Villanelles
for some time now.

Hopefully, one day I'll get them right.
I keep working on this one
as it is a very personal part of my life.

Thank you for reading.

Alison

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
4 posted 2007-12-04 06:25 AM


ms az...she sounds like my kind of woman..got a number for me?  enjoyed it babe
CudMonk
Junior Member
since 2007-11-28
Posts 21

5 posted 2007-12-04 08:32 AM


Well done.  I very much enjoyed it.  I think that all poems about age are inspiring, namely because it is one of the few human experiences the vast majority of us will go through.  Some people find God in their lives... others fall in love... most are friends with depression.  Yet, with the exception of those who die young, we will ALL wither with age.  Frankly, I'm always surprised there's not more poetry on the subject circulating.  Anyway, good job.

-Adam

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

6 posted 2007-12-04 09:12 AM


Nice villanelle!  I've been working on one, too,
and it's a challenge.  Ironically, mine
is about my elderly mother.
Always enjoy reading you, Az.

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