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Open Poetry #41
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kudanesh
Member
since 2007-12-01
Posts 135
Peterborough,England

0 posted 2007-12-01 07:30 AM



I would like some feed back on this if you could help me my punctuation isnt very good and my spelling can be quite bad.
thanks for reading

IN THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS

In the morning you can hear every sound
From the birds in the trees to the deer on the ground
As I am sitting out in the cold
The mountains are standing there proud and bold

They stand shoulder to shoulder lined with trees
That are battered and broken from the highland breeze
The mountains stand up into the sky
And the surviving trees stand so high

The mountains have always been in this place
But they still retain their founding grace
Because of their age they'er battered a bit
But you can still touch the sky from the highest tips

When the clouds are gone the stars are bright
You can see them clearly through out the night
When morning comes its time to move on
When you look up the stars are gone

But look again they'er still there
And all you can do is stop and stare
How tall they are to touch the clouds
Whoever made them must be proud

Soon I will leave I will have to go
I'll never forget how those stars did glow
So when they ask what did you see
I think I'll save that one just for me

So in he morning with the same old sounds
I'll remember the birds and the deer on the ground
And when I am sitting in the warm
The stars and the mountains I will mourn


thanks given to james for his spelling corrections
This was wrighten in the mountains of scotland 27 oct 2007

© Copyright 2007 Andrew Hull - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2007-12-01 08:12 AM


Despite obvious typos and grammatical errors, this is a fine first offering!
I enjoyed your take on the Scottish scenery, and understand why you miss such majestic mountains!

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
2 posted 2007-12-01 08:13 AM


Aside from a few spelling and grammatical 'troubles'...this 'write' finely captures
the magnificent spirit of the land of my ancestors (which I would grandly argue is
the most beautiful place on Earth...particularly the western highlands...places like
Glencoe and the Trossachs; etc.)

A most hearty 'welcome' to the company of those of us who poetically traverse
the fine blue sands of "P.I.P.-land!"

serious applause for your penning!

p.s.: I absolutely 'live' with a dictionary...
        spelling is assuredly NOT my forte either!

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
3 posted 2007-12-01 08:27 AM


quote:
They stand shoulder to shoulder lined with trees
That are battered and broken from the highland breeze
The mountains stand up in to the sky
And the surviving trees stand so high



Very beautifully said! I also love the mountains and long to see them again whenever I am far away. In my case they are the Swiss Alps.

Welcome to Pip!

kudanesh
Member
since 2007-12-01
Posts 135
Peterborough,England
4 posted 2007-12-01 08:43 AM


i thank ouy for you kind replys i do have a spelling and grammer proble i am dislexic i carnt realy spell it so i try to use the word spell cheack but thank you
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2007-12-01 04:13 PM


Wonderful writing...very descriptive...
I'll help you with your spelling if you want to change any of the words...click on the edit icon at the top directly underneath your title...they only give you a few days to edit...here's the correct spelling...
Title-Scottish,  line 7--into, line 10-but they, line 11-they're battered, line 17-they're still there, line 19-tall, line22,24,and26-I'll, line 27-in the warm, bottom comment-written.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2007-12-01 07:37 PM


I am of Scottish ancestory and have always wanted to go to Scotland ~ now you have taken me there via your spirited and descriptive write! Thank you!

Love 'n Highland Hugs,

EA

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2007-12-02 05:13 PM


I will be looking for your name in the future, Kudanesh. I appreciate first your beautiful mind to words; and secondly your request for assistance in putting forth a constructed poem so that it would read better to our eyes, and souls.

Welcome to Passions!

Please, check your email for a Very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now  " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2007-12-04 01:32 PM


I had the opportunity to visit Scotland last fall... reading your words, I got the chance to visit once again. *S*

Welcome to Passions!

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