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Open Poetry #41
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moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North

0 posted 2007-11-10 05:11 PM



Carried away

We walked hand in hand
to the pip talk site.

I tried to assure her
everything was alright.

I coaxed her to enter
the fast moving stream.

She was soon swallowed up
but I still heard her scream.

Why did I let go of her hand that day?
Why should I care what other people say?

I wanted her back
so I could hold her tight.

I awoke from this dream
in the middle of the night.

I went to my file
my throat was dry.

There she stood
all I could do was cry.


© Copyright 2007 Paul R Breen - All Rights Reserved
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
1 posted 2007-11-10 06:16 PM


Paul.. can you tell me what the meaning of this poem is? I'm a little confused with it... I do like it though.. thank you RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
2 posted 2007-11-10 11:39 PM


hey Roniece, thanks for the positive feed back. The "she" is a poem....I'm putting "her" into the fast moving stream of other poems...sometimes I see these poems like my small innocent offsprings..hope that clears up any confusion.
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
3 posted 2007-11-11 12:10 PM


ah now I understand! thank you - I like your work... keep them coming please RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2007-11-11 12:22 PM


i now understand too

ARCTIC WIND

moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
5 posted 2007-11-11 01:37 AM


thank you both, Roniece and Artic Wind for your kind thoughtful comments.
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
6 posted 2007-11-11 04:30 AM


Oh, I love this, moondogz, especially reading the responses and understanding that she is a poem.  

Please repost her so that those of us who missed seeing her can meet her.

- Owl

moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
7 posted 2007-11-11 06:16 AM


actually she never was posted...but her name is Hummingbird...to fragile to be exposed and therein lies the fodder for the dream. Thanks for taking the time to respond in such a kind manner.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
8 posted 2007-11-11 08:45 AM


Well now you stirred our curiosity and "Hummingbird" sounds like a lovely promise.
I loved your poem, the Pip stream can flow quite quickly this is true, but then ... hummingbirds know something about wing flapping speed and will keep up the pace!

Love,
Margherita

moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
9 posted 2007-11-11 09:41 AM


thanks Margherita, maybe I will be able to coax her to make an appearance.

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