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quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

0 posted 2007-11-09 03:19 AM

Wow, so I haven't been here in years, but I hope I'll stick around this time. I really doubt anyone remembers me as I mainly hung around teen poetry but I'm hoping to find my niche in Open.

A good friend of mine [who was also my little sister's best friend since childhood] recently died in a high-speed alcohol-related crash and although I'm not very confident in the quality of the poem, so far it's the best I've been able to express things.

This world is
blown over.
You’re gone
and she’s crying
and I’m left
here.

What were you thinking?

They burned,
you bled
and the twisted wreckage
scattered
for miles.

I read the details
in the papers
for days to come.
Photos of firefighters
crying
and tarps
over twisted metal.

They pulled your crushed body
held in by the dashboard
from what used to
look like a car.

Those girls are
orphans now,
and it's all your fault.

You held on for hours,
lying on that gurney;
Scott said it didn't
even look like you.

I still love you.
Standing in my kitchen
you looked so great
in your favourite suit,
the one
your parents buried
you in.

Coffee and cigarettes
don’t fill
this void.
Midnight calls
and I dream of you
in that
casket;
pale as death,
makeup caked.
Covers bruises
spread
across your face
and the cut
in your lip.

And you’re gone,
she’s crying
and I’m left
here.

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

1 posted 2007-11-09 03:44 AM

I think this is a beautiful post.It gives me chills. Especially because of the experience I have had of a daughter being in a car accident and the pain she went through and is still going through, I feel this for you. "late"

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite

since 2005-06-28

Posts 2187
Oregon

2 posted 2007-11-09 04:06 AM

The images we are left with when we say goodbye like this are so brutal.  The mind clings to such finality and the heart rebels.  I have so much compassion for what you and those who love him are going through.

I read a book by Wayne Dyer.  In it he said, "What you see is not who I am."  It's really true, because our bodies are only where we appear to live for a little while.  Heart is so much more than a pump, and ideas expressed are for as long as we care to hold them. Idnetity and love remains, no matter which side we are on.

I wish I could ease the sadness of your loss.

Hugs, Karen

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

3 posted 2007-11-09 07:20 AM

Hi Jennifer and welcome back!

I thought this was a wonderful purging and I know exactly how it feels...

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

4 posted 2007-11-09 08:04 AM

Best written poem of this type I've seen in a longgg time...maybe the best ever.

Jimmy

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

5 posted 2007-11-09 05:55 PM

I doubt that there could be a reader of this poem, who would not get choked up over the vividly descriptive and raw emotion that you have passionately penned.

Such a tragic waste of life. My love and healing hugs go out to all who have suffered this painful loss.

Love & Everlasting Light,

EA

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

6 posted 2007-11-09 06:28 PM

Oh ouch... this is a painful purge. I felt it deeply... I'm so sorry for your loss.

~Alyssa

Hupomeno.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

7 posted 2007-11-11 04:55 AM

I am so sorry for your loss, quietlydying. Your poem is beautiful. May it serve to save lives, as I believe it can.

- Owl

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

8 posted 2007-11-11 05:06 AM

I'm sorry for your loss Jennifer.. you have written your thoughts well ... losing someone is never easy.. your words are very sad... I will keep you in my prayers.. RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

moondogz
Member

since 2007-05-01

Posts 397
Great White North

9 posted 2007-11-11 06:12 AM

The best poetry seems to rise out of the ashes of tragedy...thanks for sharing your feelings.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

10 posted 2012-02-17 09:00 AM

It was alright

"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake

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