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Passions in Poetry

Cold as Ice

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Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 06-10-2001
Posts 1316
the wonderful land of oz

0 posted 11-09-2007 03:19 AM       View Profile for quietlydying   Email quietlydying   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for quietlydying

Wow, so I haven't been here in years, but I hope I'll stick around this time.  I really doubt anyone remembers me as I mainly hung around teen poetry but I'm hoping to find my niche in Open.

A good friend of mine [who was also my little sister's best friend since childhood] recently died in a high-speed alcohol-related crash and although I'm not very confident in the quality of the poem, so far it's the best I've been able to express things.

This world is
blown over.
Youíre gone
and sheís crying
and Iím left

What were you thinking?

They burned,
you bled
and the twisted wreckage
for miles.

I read the details
in the papers
for days to come.
Photos of firefighters
and tarps
over twisted metal.

They pulled your crushed body
held in by the dashboard
from what used to
look like a car.

Those girls are
orphans now,
and it's all your fault.

You held on for hours,
lying on that gurney;
Scott said it didn't
even look like you.

I still love you.
Standing in my kitchen
you looked so great
in your favourite suit,
the one
your parents buried
you in.

Coffee and cigarettes
donít fill
this void.
Midnight calls
and I dream of you
in that
pale as death,
makeup caked.
Covers bruises
across your face
and the cut
in your lip.

And youíre gone,
sheís crying
and Iím left
© Copyright 2007 jennifer elizabeth - All Rights Reserved
Member Elite
since 03-21-2003
Posts 4407

1 posted 11-09-2007 03:44 AM       View Profile for latearrival   Email latearrival   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for latearrival

I think this is a beautiful post.It gives me chills. Especially because of the experience I have had of a daughter being in a car accident and the pain she went through and is still going through, I feel this for you.  "late"
Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 06-28-2005
Posts 2181

2 posted 11-09-2007 04:06 AM       View Profile for Klassy Lassy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Klassy Lassy

The images we are left with when we say goodbye like this are so brutal.  The mind clings to such finality and the heart rebels.  I have so much compassion for what you and those who love him are going through.  

I read a book by Wayne Dyer.  In it he said, "What you see is not who I am."  It's really true, because our bodies are only where we appear to live for a little while.  Heart is so much more than a pump, and ideas expressed are for as long as we care to hold them. Idnetity and love remains, no matter which side we are on.

I wish I could ease the sadness of your loss.

Hugs, Karen  
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464

3 posted 11-09-2007 07:20 AM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell

Hi Jennifer and welcome back!

I thought this was a wonderful purging and I know exactly how it feels...

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"

Member Ascendant
since 04-30-2000
Posts 6414
Texas . . .

4 posted 11-09-2007 08:04 AM       View Profile for jwesley   Email jwesley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jwesley

Best written poem of this type I've seen in a longgg time...maybe the best ever.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light

5 posted 11-09-2007 05:55 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

I doubt that there could be a reader of this poem, who would not get choked up over the vividly descriptive and raw emotion that you have passionately penned.

Such a tragic waste of life. My love and healing hugs go out to all who have suffered this painful loss.

Love & Everlasting Light,

Member Elite
since 12-03-2002
Posts 3615
Lost in thought

6 posted 11-09-2007 06:28 PM       View Profile for GG   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for GG

Oh ouch... this is a painful purge. I felt it deeply...  I'm so sorry for your loss.



Member Rara Avis
since 11-07-2005
Posts 8424
Durban, South Africa

7 posted 11-11-2007 04:55 AM       View Profile for OwlSA   Email OwlSA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for OwlSA

I am so sorry for your loss, quietlydying.  Your poem is beautiful.  May it serve to save lives, as I believe it can.

- Owl
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 01-29-2000
Posts 5694
Sydney, Australia

8 posted 11-11-2007 05:06 AM       View Profile for Roniece Dawson-Bruce   Email Roniece Dawson-Bruce   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Roniece Dawson-Bruce

I'm sorry for your loss Jennifer.. you have written your thoughts well ... losing someone is never easy.. your words are very sad... I will keep you in my prayers.. RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

since 05-01-2007
Posts 396
Great White North

9 posted 11-11-2007 06:12 AM       View Profile for moondogz   Email moondogz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moondogz

The best poetry seems to rise out of the ashes of tragedy...thanks for sharing your feelings.
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg

10 posted 02-17-2012 09:00 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

It was alright

"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is."  ~William Blake

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