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Open Poetry #41
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iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA

0 posted 2007-11-15 04:48 AM


The middle of the blackened night
riding Highway
75,
sky watching,
as he drives.
Two trails of light,
shooting stars,
he says, “meteorites.”
Well, of course,
that’s what they say
they are.....but.

Two big souls
have left.

I blink;
my vision blurred.
Sadness
comes
upon my heart,
like grey clouds
now that cloak the stars
and even my periphery
seems
veiled --
curtains of a certain grief --
as I wonder,
wonder
who was freed
from this confine we call the Earth,
and who at home sits
and mourns
those precious flames,
caught only in my glance.


[This message has been edited by iliana (11-15-2007 08:16 AM).]

© Copyright 2007 J.A.A.Powell - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2007-11-15 05:52 AM


nicely  shared~~  I don't get to see "shooting stars" very often...but when I do I will now think of them differently.

M

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
2 posted 2007-11-15 05:58 AM


Thanks for the nice comment, M-Lady.  We are driving to Missouri to see my son who is at Advanced Infantry Training; driving all nite and I brought my computer to plug into the car -- right now, got a pretty good signal.  Actually, since writing this we have seen several more falling stars, one of which was very close, in fact, close enough that we could see the tail which looked like it was smoking.  I thought about our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan as I wrote this.  *hugs*....jo
Gumpy
Member
since 2007-11-06
Posts 143
Canada
3 posted 2007-11-15 08:55 AM


Wonderful piece.
My three daughters and I love to lie down in the field at night, when camping, and star gaze.
Really enjoyed this read.
Gumpy

Heartbroken

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

4 posted 2007-11-15 08:59 AM


hmm, thought provoking, I love how you wrote it.
Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2007-11-15 01:52 PM


There is something extra-special about a poem that is written at the moment of inspire!

lily jo, so be the case with this 'stellar' write!

I enjoyed this poetic sharing of your celestial experience.

Love & Star Light,

Linda

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
6 posted 2007-11-15 01:56 PM


I am computer challenged, but are you telling me you can actually can plug a computer into a car now?  Good grief!   I get furious with my son when I am in the car, while he is on the phone, watching a movie, and now I find out he can also plug in his laptop!    Oh, but I forgot to mention that I did like your poem.  
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2007-11-15 02:29 PM


Nice writing...James
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
8 posted 2007-11-15 02:36 PM


iliana,

Beautiful.

Alison

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
9 posted 2007-11-15 05:04 PM


Your interpretation of these shooting stars is very poignant, dear Jo. This is a very beautiful write.

Love and hugs.
Margherita

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
10 posted 2007-11-15 07:17 PM


Enjoyed



ARCTIC WIND

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2007-11-15 08:27 PM


Jo...

I knew immediately upon reading this that you were looking beyond the heavens, and into the hearts of families, and losses, and the bigger picture.

Is it because I know you, that I knew that?

Or is it because your words speak so well, metaphorically, to the days' designs?

I don't know.

All I know is that I felt your heart beat...
and that is what poetry, and poets, are all about.




Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
12 posted 2007-11-15 08:37 PM


Oh Jo, those shooting stars sound much like my rainbow dancing lights of Alaska, the ones I saw the night of 9.11.01.
Hug your son for me too, please, and know I'll be thinking of him....and you.

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
13 posted 2007-11-15 08:48 PM


very nicely done, loved the mood that I could
easily feel.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
14 posted 2007-11-15 09:32 PM


Thank you all so very much for your kind remarks.  Love to all.......jo

PS - Sharon, the car just serves as the power station for my puter.....I've got an ATT air card that gives me the net for a monthly fee while traveling.  It's great when I have a signal.

PPS:  Linda -- what a sweet thing to say, dear friend.  

PPPS:  Karilea, yep you know me, SIL....how well!

PPPPS:  Kacy, just hugs for sharing that with me.

PPPPPS:  Gumpy, what you and your daughters do with star gazing is exactly what my father used to do with my little sister and me.  These are memories they will cherish for a lifetime.  

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
15 posted 2007-11-16 02:38 AM


Wow.  I always thought shooting stars were special.  Now I understand why.  Thanks.




Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
16 posted 2007-11-16 03:48 AM


Lovely write, beautiful take on shooting stars.
                                   Ida

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
17 posted 2007-11-16 07:20 AM


Understanding this. You were on a mission. Hug that boy and keep him in your heart . Love, "late"
Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
18 posted 2007-11-17 12:08 PM


I was bound to cry today...this one did it, caught me on a shooting star and primed the pumps.    Beautiful poem, and broken hearts do leave the sky in streaks of flames.  ~ K
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
19 posted 2007-12-04 11:40 AM


You know I'll never look again at a shooting star and see only a wish... right? *S*

What a beautiful, touching write!

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
20 posted 2007-12-07 02:42 AM


Just wanted to pop in hear and thank you all for your sweet responses.  Hugs to all.......jo
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
21 posted 2007-12-07 12:12 PM


You know, I think this needs to come right back to the top.

So, here it is.  I always get what I want (or so I tell myself)

A

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
22 posted 2007-12-07 05:33 PM


Wow!!!!

Not often I'm grabbed by something ... but this snapped in deep and held tight, my friend...brought tears at 'two big souls have left' and that makes you a rarity because it's seldom words touch me that way.

Awesome...

Don't normally pass by your writing, even if I don't comment on all,  but somehow I did on this .... certainly glad it finally found me. It would have been a huge loss to have missed it completely....will be more careful to 'see' you in the future...

jimmy

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
23 posted 2007-12-07 05:46 PM


just came back in...#%%^@-it! Still broached the ducts! Hat's off to you...me friend, must be something in the Houston air....

and, by the way, long as I'm being maulding...I've always loved this picture of you...don't change it any time soon.

Jimmy

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
24 posted 2007-12-07 06:18 PM


nice read
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
25 posted 2007-12-09 06:09 AM


Jo... stunning write my friend  RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

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