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Open Poetry #41
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Only Time Can Tell Where Its Going
| Open Poetry #41 |
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Only Time Can Tell Where Its Going |
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tatalinia Member
since 2005-12-17
Posts 137CA, US 
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With each step I take I know I'm not taking it alone in this pain I know there is someone else out there feeling it too, that my tears falling from my eyes are not the only tears falling tonight So I can keep on breathing now that I realize Iam not the only one suffering from the force of life So many things remind me of what I had each passing moment with memories to bring a tear I want to get to know myself and what I want but I've been programed to want a partner in everything and now that I no longer have that I'm lost My future is just a white light with no beginning or ending I'm struggling to carrie on, on my own My vision, my reason for geting up everyday has been erased. What I've worked so hard for has been taken away, where is the fairness in all this Has karma kicked in, or is that just some hoax? But I've been a good girl, I was there I loved with all my heart. But this can't be beaten can it? I can't win I'm joining the rest of you who have been where I'm going Dropping my belongings into this bag and sailing on to a new beginning a new life without the one that was once there beside me to make life a little bit easier along the way. Only time can tell where its going next, and only I can follow along after it in hopes where it takes me I can wipe one tear away at a time and begin again I do not need shine or wealth, just a pen and some paper for my health |
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| © Copyright 2007 Althia Kinsey - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kalle Member
since 2007-10-15
Posts 89Finland |
There are few mispells, And overall, the vocabulary and the structure seem too much like everyday-talk-language. By The way, I`d like to , not in an insultingly manner What do you think of the African-American slang and subculture and about its contribution to American language? |
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tatalinia Member
since 2005-12-17
Posts 137CA, US |
to the above statement " I had no time to edit that poem, i write it at 2 in the morning and I was very tired but just wanted to express my thoughts at the moment. But sometimes its nice to have a simply written poem , doesn't always have to be complexed and hard to understand. As far as african/black slang goes I don't know , I don't speak it I wasn't raised in that type of environment, so you should ask someone who knows. Not sure what that has to do with a poem site though or my poem, this isn't african american history class. I do not need shine or wealth, just a pen and some paper for my health |
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Kalle Member
since 2007-10-15
Posts 89Finland |
before offering a detailed critique with corrections, you should check the author's profile to learn if the author wants critiques or not. In this case the author does not. Balladeer Moderator [This message has been edited by Balladeer (10-28-2007 08:49 PM).] |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Tatalina~ This is some wonderfully poignant penning~ 'I'm joining the rest of you who have been where I'm going Dropping my belongings into this bag and sailing on to a new beginning a new life without the one that was once there beside me to make life a little bit easier along the way. Only time can tell where its going next, and only I can follow along after it in hopes where it takes me I can wipe one tear away at a time and begin again' New beginnings ... yes, I've been there~  *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
I very much love your thoughts and especially the expressed intention of being able to begin again, after this difficult time of loneliness. Your strong will shows. Love, Margherita |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
very well thought ARCTIC WIND |
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illusiveangel Member
since 2007-10-22
Posts 72Liverpool, UK |
Tatalina, I want to say that this piece spoke out loud and reached right into the depths of my soul ( errors and all) and that I understand very much where you are coming from with this. So painful...but then we have to feel pain, so that we may begin to heal. My thoughts are with you. Illusive x |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
I feel for you Tatalina and I wish you a happy future. The fact that you have the will to start again is what counts. Keep the chin up and I'm sure the sun will shine again for you, good luck. Lindsay |
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