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Open Poetry #41
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Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989


0 posted 2007-10-24 11:54 AM



Vast are the horizons surrounding me
but damned are these mists
that do not allow me to see
past this moment,
this here,

this now

as if they were born from the bowels
of hell.

There are no purple mountains
nor fields of green
Autumn is here
but no colors are seen
through the gray mist
that dampens the day
I hit my knees

and I pray
take these clouds
remove this shroud,

please let the sun
shine over me
It's become too dark
I can barely see;


lift this curse that
hangs overhead
because I'm too weak
and my emotions have bled

me dry.

There are no tears left
in my eyes
let the light break through

these sullen skies.

© Copyright 2007 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved
SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
1 posted 2007-10-24 11:58 AM


Awwww, this is so sad. I hope you are okay.
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
2 posted 2007-10-24 01:30 PM


Donna

You words carry images and emotions.  
I feel like I am peeking under a blanket
and saying --

Hi my friend,

Loving you,
A

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
3 posted 2007-10-25 01:05 AM




a deep sadness prayer gentle Donna
beautifully wrought...

hugs

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2007-10-25 07:14 AM


Donna, you sound so sad. I hope this is just poetry ~ mind you, it is a fine emotive write.

"I'm too weak
and my emotions have bled

me dry."

~ I've been there myself and I do understand.

Sending a comforting, healing hug ~ if it is needed.

If not, then I'll just send a warm, loving hug!

Linda

Shadow_Singer
Member
since 2007-10-24
Posts 51

5 posted 2007-10-25 07:47 AM


I agree, you sound sad, which is good writing.  I also hope it is only the writing, since we need the rain, but not tears.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
6 posted 2007-10-25 11:30 AM


... makes me want to blow this mist away, to make you smile again, dear Donna.

Beautiful work, even though extremely sad.

Love,
Margherita

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
7 posted 2007-10-26 01:03 AM


Very sad, Gentle Spirit
But beautiful all the same.
                 Ida

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
8 posted 2007-10-26 06:31 AM


wonderfully expressed my dear friend Donna.. I hope you are ok... I'm sending some special hugs to smile your day ... RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2007-10-26 02:13 PM


Nice writing...hugs...James
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
10 posted 2007-10-29 06:02 PM


do know the feeling, don't worry...all will
pass and Autumn will slide in quietly all
across the land...even here in the south!

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
11 posted 2007-10-29 07:35 PM


a very powerful, personal, emotive 'write'!

[perhaps I relate to it all-too-well, because
  I feel so very much the same as many of the
  things expressed via this somber penning
  ...particularly:

"please let the sun
shine over me
It's become too dark(!)"

[I believe the above effectively delimits
  a point reached in many (most?!) of our
  lives 'mid this "Runaway American Dream"
  it has become rather a cold, 'dark',
  lonely, myopic/'self-referential' society]

Serious applause for this work!



Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
12 posted 2007-10-30 05:54 PM


Well done!

Poet, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

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