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Open Poetry #41
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Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa

0 posted 2007-10-17 02:11 PM


I listened because I always do
when love grabs at the throat
and for a moment stills the breath
that wheezes like a death roll
in the cavity of mind.

Most days I conjure up a trick
because pretence is best
but yesterday I listened
past humdrum platitudes
floating like dust particles
in the air of consciousness.

I listened, yes, I listened,
with ears turned inward, down,
and felt the move up, up, and up
from my mountain of emotion
not yet disengaged
from level-headed ground.

In actuality, the move is only love
erupting from the soul
when distraction bows its silly head
and leaves the praying field
open for a dream.

And the dream is still the same
from then until the present time
that tries to flatten and compress
the already risen
and bake as if a loaf of bread
in ovens of indifference.

I listened, yes, I listened
but love didn’t call my name
and the move retreated back again
into the silent stillness
of a woman’s loneliness!

Helen / 17 October 2007 www.dreamtimepoetry.com


© Copyright 2007 Helen - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2007-10-17 02:28 PM


Wow! I read ~ and "I listened"! My goodness, I felt every word, Honey!

You certainly have the ability to draw a reader into your world ~ If indeed that is your world! ~ It certainly has been mine from time to time in my own life.

You are a talented writer ~ and a very fine woman.


Linda

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
2 posted 2007-10-17 03:04 PM


Thank you so much, Linda, for your kind comments.  I would say that whatever I write is "my world" but within that world there are the "dreams" which demand attention like spoilt brats.  Perhaps someday soon they will be locked away in the archives of memory and I'll then move on to something "real" but then again (sigh) who knows what is really real.  

Hugs to you, dear Linda!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
3 posted 2007-10-17 04:10 PM


Nice writing...James
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
4 posted 2007-10-17 04:16 PM


Thanks, James, for reading and for commenting.  Much appreciated.
Kalle
Member
since 2007-10-15
Posts 89
Finland
5 posted 2007-10-17 04:33 PM


"floating like dust particles
in the air of consciousness."

This is quite cheesy don`t you agree?

But A Woman`s loneliness,


Does it have a certain special quality to it?

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
6 posted 2007-10-17 05:02 PM


Kalle - Well, humdrum platitudes are likened as to dust because dust dirties up most everything including a consciousness which is meant to be clean and clear. My apologies if you find it "cheesy".

And just so you know, everything about a woman is special and every woman has her own brand of loneliness.  I obviously cannot speak of a man's loneliness unless I put my mind to it and that, my friend, would require a clean consciousness unfetted by humdrum platitudes and dust.  And just so you know, there's more to a mind than one would suppose but I understand that learning is a long and slow process for some.

Thank you so much for the read and critiques are always welcome as I hope my "explanations are".    

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
7 posted 2007-10-17 05:50 PM


liked it
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
8 posted 2007-10-17 07:37 PM


“Most days I conjure up a trick
because pretence is best
but yesterday I listened
past humdrum platitudes
floating like dust particles
in the air of consciousness.”

You make the inaudible, sound with the beating of a drum.
If we take the time to listen I think we all would admit
there have been times we have experienced someone
pretending with an intention to deceive.
I understand your particles of dust, but I think I always listen
with cobwebs in the air of consciousness.
Great write Helen.  Hope all is well with you.

JL


Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
9 posted 2007-10-18 12:07 PM



Helen.
It's amazing what we hear when we really do listen but then we should meditate and sort the positive from the negative and count all our blessings, and I'm sure you will have many blessings, take care dear lady and have a great day.

Lindsay

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
10 posted 2007-10-18 12:52 PM


Thanks, vandana.

JL - Cobwebs aren't really such a bad thing because they show us where we haven't been for some time whereas dust is just always everywhere and needs regular attention. That attention may very well be just to look past it but in both scenarios there comes a time when we simply have to clean and better a little continuously that an enormous chore that leaves one totally exhausted.  But you know we aren't talking about dust as such.     Thanks so mnuch, JL, for taking the time to read and to comment.

Lindsay - How right you are about the sorting.  I do have blessings to count and definitely believe that gratitude is important but thanks for the reminder because I now must admit to having been a bit neglectful in that regard.  Thank you, Lindsay.  

Helen

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
11 posted 2007-10-18 01:20 AM


Honeybunch, You have a most interesting mind and I love the way you think. I have a puny one and it is not half as entertaining as yours. I wish I did have  more of you in me. I am not ever very lonely because I have many interest and things to do. But  deep within if I dare to delve, I am sure  I am much as you. Life deals us our stepping stones  and I am afraid mine were  not large enough. Wish I had taken larger steps along the way. best to you, "late"
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
12 posted 2007-10-18 02:08 AM


My dear "late",

I venture to suggest that you have a mind as big as you choose to think it is.  Thought is, after all, the mainstay of life.  Well, I believe everything has been thought into being but I am often wrong in my thinking.  

Yes, we do get dealt our stepping stones.  Some we jump over and some we linger on to think, look, and listen.  We can also sometimes gain more out of the smallest stone than a large one.  I too, however, wish that I had done some things differently in the past but I do know that nothing is right if the timing is wrong.

I know that I delve too much and too deeply but maybe life and love are worth it and if I weave it into a story that is entertaining then I am happy.  

Thank you for your kind comments.  I seem to be on a soapbox in this thread for which I truly apologise.

Be well!  Be happy!

Hugs ~ Helen

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
13 posted 2007-10-19 06:18 AM


Helen... this is beautiful writing here.. very expressive and I enjoyed reading it ... thank you   RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
14 posted 2007-10-19 10:02 AM


Thank you, Roniece.  I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
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