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Open Poetry #41
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howardtsu
Senior Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 678


0 posted 2007-09-25 07:32 PM



                        Howard called his men back to the base

private :

                        do you think she’s headed to Anderson Air force base?

howard :

                        that’s a negative



                        Eve was long gone by now

                        and so was his chance to look directly under her eye brows

                                             and say "i love you"

                        still, he'd see her another day

                        if he had his way

                                            it'd be tommorrow

                        but Hayden’s orders were concise

                        only borrow what was needed

                        good advice before he conceded his heart

                        if only he had’ve been more precise

                        when he pleaded for a new start

                                          Eve might’ve listened





                                                                                      love,

                                                                                      howard




© Copyright 2007 howardtsu - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2007-09-25 09:15 PM


It's interesting to find dialogue introducing a poem but I think it works. It sets the scene and gives you a snapshot of what's happening. I think it sets up the poem very well. I think I have to try this.

a good commitee can decimate communication.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2007-09-26 07:14 AM


Enjoyed...James
howardtsu
Senior Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 678

3 posted 2007-09-26 12:49 PM


you should, it's fun  

thanks kethry


thanks james  

Dull Glitter
Junior Member
since 2007-09-25
Posts 11
Iowa, USA
4 posted 2007-09-26 09:01 PM


I agree, very interesting. I haven't seen anything like before. (That's a good thing. ) Of course, this is with my *ahem* wide variety of poetry reading...
Good job overall.

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