»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #41
»
Anorexorcist
| Open Poetry #41 |
|
Anorexorcist |
|
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(This is a poem that dwells deep into the serious, growing problem facing our youth today, which are eating disorders, of which anorexia and binge-eating are the two worst and most fatal. I've fought an eating disorder of my own lately (a minor case fortunately) and have been doing alright in the recovery thus far, but the struggle has made me ultrasensitive about eating disorders in general, many much worse than mine ever was, and so have been writing more on the topic, including this poem which I try to climb into the mind of someone suffering a more critical case of anorexia, and document the emotional and psychological struggle of it all.  This is perhaps my darkest poem ever, so those who are particularly sensitive about the dark imagery that often surrounds this topic I'd advise not to read this.) *  Anorexorcist By: Noah Eaton 9/12/07 "Quod me nutruit, me destruit, quod me nutruit, me destruit…" There’s a millstone around my neck, functioning to keep me in check, fitting me into this sickness, to suit my life for the calliope ahead… All these lies I tell are lies, I want to believe deep inside, that slowly begin to anesthetize, the more they become truth in my mind’s eye. I’ve found clarity walking in the dark, cuz no one’s around to break my heart, I’m a peripatetic oracle, treading on a tightrope, above the knife in the water… Spare me the inquiries, I’m still putting together this masterpiece, working through this puzzle, shape-shifting in and out of these costumes, driven to “make it”. What will you say if I say I’m gravitating, to something beyond myself I simply can’t reach, that tears at my chest every time I sleep, but if I stop trying will make me bleed. What will you say if I say I’m gravitating, to something beyond myself I simply can’t reach, that tears at my chest every time I sleep, but if I stop trying will make me bleed? . . . Upon each and every relapse, I feel myself collapse, sometimes I feel like giving up, wondering what ever provoked me, to hold on this long… There’s some other voice inside my head, that’s not my own but might as well have been, leading me through this puzzle, mixed in with pieces from other puzzles, demanding me to “make it”. What will you say if I say I’m gravitating, to something beyond myself I simply can’t reach, that tears at my chest every time I sleep, but if I stop trying will make me bleed. What will you say if I say I’m gravitating, to something beyond myself I simply can’t reach, that tears at my chest every time I sleep, but if I stop trying will make me bleed? . . . . . I’m sick of all this fighting. but I’ve conceded I’ll always be fighting, we’re all just rag, bone, water and air, cut down to size in this state of affairs, even as you refuse to reveal yourself, reveal yourself, REVEAL YOURSELF, REVEAL YOURSELF… . . . What will you say if I say I’m gravitating, to something beyond myself I simply can’t reach, that tears at my chest every time I sleep, but if I stop trying will make me bleed. What will you say if I say I’m gravitating, to something beyond myself I simply can’t reach, that tears at my chest every time I sleep, but if I stop trying will make me bleed? There’s some other voice inside my head, that’s not my own but might as well have been, leading me through this puzzle, mixed in with pieces from other puzzles, demanding me to “make it”. So reveal yourself, reveal yourself, REVEAL YOURSELF, REVEAL YOURSELF… . . .  "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other" Mother Teresa |
||
| © Copyright 2007 Nadia Lockheart - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
That was so intense and sad, that I scarcely took a breath while I was reading yours words ~ and looking at the pictures! Not to make light of the matter, but no one would ever take me as an anorexic. I love eating too much ~ and yes, at times I eat TOO much!  You are shedding some much needed light on a subject that is far more prevalent than most realize. The pressures to be slim and millimetre perfect, can lead our youth down a very dangerous path. God bless you for this and for the courage and determination to deal with your own struggles. With love and a big, compassionate hug, Linda |
||
|
FNG Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 477 |
I agree with you that eating disorder is a big issue among youth and young adults.... Thinking how can someone struggle with this for 20 years or more. It's a mental torture. Heartfelt sympathy for those who are in this. FNG |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
You've delved into a difficult subject Noah, and done a very good job of exploring it.  A good friend of mine has struggled with this for many, many years. It's amazing how distorted the vision in the mirror can become. Well done. PS ... your title is absolutely excellent! Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
