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Open Poetry #41
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2007-09-07 09:15 PM


We are all so delicate.

This one
might need more of this;
that one might need less
of that
and each day is
a new dawn craft--
happenstance
of laughter mad
or tears
of perfect chemistry

bowing to the clap-clap-clap

of our dear-lawd audience...


Start with an awakening

dreams like leaves released from trees
colored multi-plexity,
browning curling edges
(green)
and yellow-light is shadowing
in reverse of life

redeemed

like a coupon, clutched.


Shadows of the burgeoning

grape of vine to taste to test;
curling like an embryo
fist unto itself

a scheme

to clasp a grasp of tendrilling
on the lattice fence of "x"...
with lilies standing

fore-front strong

like rooks in row
and on display

of a game of chess not played

dusty

aching

to be touched.


Stoic marble people

us

chiseled neatly uniform
staunted
in the squares inlaid

scared

to make a move

(or play)

like the leaves we used to be
dancing in the air and down

to the ground

compressed to these
layers of the earth as breathe

breath-compressed
in lust and greed


"sed-i-ment-en-tar-i-ly"


polished

like we might be new...
wearing ages as a badge
in the stripes of rock and blue
shadows ripple like the hue
of Thor's hammer, shimmering
reflected in the ponds of youth
shivering the edge of sand
rippled by the tug of moon...

stoic marble people

us

are just the dance

of want to dust---

an autumn leaf of kite to sky

to crumble brown sarcophagus

pressured into earth to stone

chiseled
back to images

idols

of ourselves at war

standing at attention in
these scores of lines
that rhyme too far

waiting for a featherdust--

or an editor.

* * * * *



© Copyright 2007 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
1 posted 2007-09-07 09:19 PM


awesome !!!
damn i just love you
and the way you write

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
2 posted 2007-09-07 09:45 PM


Though I understand the themes aren't always jovial, your works are such a delight to read aloud as sounds roll and lounge with languid intent.  This here's no exception.
TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
3 posted 2007-09-08 12:11 PM


I felt the emotion, the power. I''ll read again for the meaning.

love you!

Tomtoo

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2007-09-08 12:29 PM


Lawsy lawsy, Ms. Ser......you left some mightly powerful sed-iments here.     You sure know how to keep me reading.  And....I know you'll blush if I say this is outstanding and I don't want to embarass you so.....I'll just say, "you drop my jaw sometimes."  *hugs*.....jojo
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
5 posted 2007-09-08 07:55 AM


Yep, Jo is right - your words drop the jaw.  A deep and insightful write!
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2007-09-08 09:13 AM


"chiseled neatly uniform
staunted
in the squares inlaid

scared

to make a move

(or play)

like the leaves we used to be
dancing in the air and down"


Profound, and profoundly well voiced!
Another one for my library.

XOx Uriah xOX
Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403
Virginia
7 posted 2007-09-08 11:53 AM


::smiles::
I love this!   I don't "get it"... But I love it.  

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
8 posted 2007-09-08 08:16 PM


Lady,
you always leave me wondering
how does she do it?!

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
9 posted 2007-09-08 11:17 PM


I like to think I am still that leaf that floats freely, and not some old rock absorbing more "stuff" to weigh me down.   Excellent poem Mz. S.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2007-09-09 12:15 PM


Oh lovie..that's part of the point...the leaf floats, it dries and dies, composted, becoming layers of sedimentary rock--or...OIL.

But I didn't mean to neglect my friends out here in Open either, so I am popping in to express my gratitude.

(LSU Tigers kicked butt--sorry VT.)

Love to all, whether you be free floating leaves or the dirt that gives root to the trees--all very vital and much appreciated by me.



thank you

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
11 posted 2007-09-09 10:55 AM


As  both a geologist ( the title!) and
a chess player…I was compelled  to read
this interesting ‘write’!

I am especially fond of:

“dreams like leaves released from trees
colored multi-plexity,
browning curling edges…”;

“of a game of chess not played”;

“shadows ripple like the hue
of Thor's hammer, shimmering
reflected in the ponds of youth
shivering the edge of sand
rippled by the tug of moon...”

AND:  “featherdust(!)”

Applause!!

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2007-09-09 11:20 AM


Karen, you are one heck of a fine writer ... I hope you know that!

The flow in this was superb. It was interesting to see where your thoughts travelled and played out with this, and I love the impression it left with me.

Raw and real ... an earthy write that left me pondering. Really well done!

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
13 posted 2007-09-09 12:25 PM


"Ashes ashes,we all fall down", and return to mother earth.

I loved this piece.You are magic!"late"

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2007-09-10 05:39 PM


in the stripes of rock and blue
shadows ripple like the hue
of Thor's hammer, shimmering
reflected in the ponds of youth
shivering the edge of sand
rippled by the tug of moon...

stoic marble people

us

are just the dance

of want to dust---

an autumn leaf of kite to sky

to crumble brown sarcophagus

pressured into earth to stone


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

meter schmeter...you are cadence lovie *wink*

(consider this a compromise of the creek kind)  *smile*
~~~~

dreams like leaves released from trees
colored multi-plexity,
browning curling edges
(green)
and yellow-light is shadowing
in reverse of life

redeemed


    


shadows ripple like the hue



    


an autumn leaf of kite to sky

    

to crumble brown sarcophagus

    


Writing poetry is easy. You need only stare at a piece of blank paper until your forehead bleeds.

Douglas Adams


Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
15 posted 2007-09-10 07:09 PM


Well all right then ... now I get it, seeing JM explained it so beautifully.  I do believe I will contribute something to this world after all, and leave my mark, even if it is only holding someone's footprint in time.  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

16 posted 2007-09-10 11:52 PM


smiling wide...

Jan, Jan, Jan...

you know I love you, but thank you so much for lending your art to illustrate my words so perfectly.

I don't believe I ever did have to explain anything to you, and I'm not sure whether to express gratitude for that or sympathy!

Just know that I adore the addition of the pics, and it's so lovely to just see your name on the blue page again.

Thanks to all (Canadian angels too)...

and yes, I'll be around.

I like it here!

adagio
Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449
Marrero, La.
17 posted 2007-09-14 09:24 PM



Yes I really liked this one.It took me on a sort of tour of life itself. Thanks Karen
adagio

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
18 posted 2007-09-16 06:30 AM


I had to turn off the television to hear this inwardly - and to wrap myself in the beauty and excellence of your wild and profound understanding of the complexities of the human condition and the correlation between - no, not "correlation between", but rather "blending of" - it and the perfection of imperfection in nature.  

"Brave" is a word that always spring to mind, when reading your work, although it may seem a little strange to say about this particular poem - "brave" as in "perspicacious, honest, spontaneous, open and daring".

This poem, as most (if not all) of your work that I have read has done, will stay on my taste buds and in my emotions for long after I have closed my laptop.  

- Owl

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

19 posted 2007-09-16 02:14 PM


Oh Owl--I get to welcome home two friends in one day!



It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO fine to see you again!



Thanks lovie, for all of your kindness. It was much needed today and gave my confidence a fuel injection!

Much love to you--stay safe.

sky1er
Junior Member
since 2007-08-13
Posts 16
Peru, currently
20 posted 2007-09-17 02:07 PM


i love the meter in this poem. the syllables roll around so nicely and create a beautiful cadence. i especially like:

"in the stripes of rock and blue"

and also relate to:

"are just the dance

of want to dust--"

sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
21 posted 2007-09-17 02:57 PM


How very blessed I am to come across this gem today!  Every word you've chosen to paint these feelings is perfect, Karen.  So much poetry is read and enjoyed, yours, is felt.

  God bless,

      Rae

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
22 posted 2007-09-17 05:30 PM


quote:
dreams like leaves released from trees


Yes this is an exquisite write, full of beauty and full of wisdom.

Incomparable Serenity touch!

Love,
Margherita

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
23 posted 2007-09-17 06:52 PM


I was compelled to continue reading your word spill as it flowed down the page. You grabbed my attention and then held my attention until the closing.

"dreams like leaves released from trees
colored multi-plexity,"

~ Especially enjoyed those lines!

Warm hug to you, Serene One,

EA

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

24 posted 2007-09-17 09:03 PM


You are all tooooooo beautiful!

I'm gonna go tuck me in early, and hopefully back to read in the morning.

thank you for your enduring patience and kindness.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
25 posted 2007-09-17 10:03 PM


First of all, you brought JM home...

Second of all...

quote:
and each day is
a new dawn craft--
happenstance
of laughter mad
or tears
of perfect chemistry


Brava!


vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
26 posted 2007-09-18 12:18 PM


nice
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
27 posted 2007-09-18 01:41 PM


Karen, the landscape of you, the hue and shape of your meter ... floating, drifting, falling, fabulous.  Your words pick me up and then blow my mind.  Hi JM!!!!  

Good grief, I'm all a dither, come hither!     

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
28 posted 2007-09-22 11:45 AM


Karen, there is a lot I understand about your brilliance and your wonderful, compassionate, interesting and complex nature, but one thing I am struggling very hard to understand is that you could EVER, EVER, EVER need your confidence boosted about your ability to write poetry!  

However, should you ever need it again, just call on me (and EVERYONE else in PIP and anyone else with at least half a brain and/or soul who has ever read your work!)and I can guarantee that we will all oblige with alacrity!

Hugs and gratitude for the enjoyment your poetry brings.

- Owl

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
29 posted 2007-09-22 01:54 PM


'like rooks in row
and on display

of a game of chess not played

dusty

aching

to be touched."

to be touched is to breathe in life and feel connected.  

If I can gracefully fall, full of color, to what I will become then I am content with that.

Karen, if I can do that holding your hand (or you holding mine) from time to time, then I am happy.

I loved this piece.  I have wrapped myself in it for warmth.



"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

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