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Open Poetry #41
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2007-08-31 10:46 AM


.


August moon
In the haze
There are no stars

It’s only you now
Whose reflected stoic light
Shines down through night
On the mute summer trees

It’s just the two of us
The crickets’ delusional chirping
Lessening with each parting day

The increasing silence
Seems a wisdom finally come
What else is there to say


.

© Copyright 2007 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
1 posted 2007-08-31 10:57 AM


You say it with beauty in your words, John.

A

TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
2 posted 2007-09-01 04:13 AM


Life passed another day
through wordless pray

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2007-09-01 04:46 AM


If I had the choice of one line written over?

It would have been the last:

I would have offered,

"with nothing left to say." (just slightly more definitive, but still emphatic line.)

But then, you know what you want to say better than I do...

I just wish you'd say it louder.

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
4 posted 2007-09-01 10:20 AM



Thank you for reading

I wanted the last line to be
one of resignation.

Thanks again


John

TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
5 posted 2007-09-01 03:52 PM


The endding
"What else is there to say" could be read with a "!" or "?".  I read with a "?".

Becasue wisdom indeed speaks books so there are "many" unsaid things
and
Not all wisdom talks silently
nor all silence speaks wisdom


my thought
Tomtoo


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2007-09-01 08:36 PM


And August is now gone
a month of remembrance
anniversarys of life
and love and
circumstance...

September is here
a chance perhaps,
to dream anew
and live a new romance...


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2007-09-05 05:17 AM


Enjoyed this...especially the last three lines...James
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
8 posted 2007-09-05 04:11 PM


There always seems to be a more wisdom during times like these.

enjoyed!

"...buried way beneath the sheets
I think she's having a meltdown..."
"Buckcherry"

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