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teddymarvelle
Junior Member

since 2007-08-26

Posts 47
california usa

0 posted 2007-08-26 07:47 PM

i climbed up a mountain
in the middle of the pouring rain
to drink from a lovers fountain
but it tasted just like pain

and i followed all the footprints
between the memories and lies
examining the blueprints
of love's true disguise

stood beneath the clouds all day
just waiting for the sun
i was not to proud to run away
but i had no place to run

in between the lines
of blame and fear
i wonder in my mind
what I'm doing here

cause I've never seen a rain
that does not get you wet
nor a lovers pain
that's easy to forget

but today i am a better man
and have become strong again
i'll slowly erase the stains of time
and rejoin the race to the finish line

I've climbed up a mountain
in the pouring rain
and drank from a fountain
that was the taste of pain

and there's never been a rain
that didn't get me wet
nor a lovers pain
that i do not regret

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

1 posted 2007-08-27 05:49 AM

A heartfelt write, teddym. So much rain, so much pain, and yet we all are strong again. Begs the question "why?" but I guess "gotta" be weak before we can know we're strong. Welcome to Pip!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2007-08-27 07:43 AM

Welcome to Passions in Poetry, Teddy.

Please,

Check your email for a
Very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2007-08-27 07:51 AM

To climb a mountain in the rain looks like a good attempt to soothe sadness, even though we cling to the pain willingly ... at least for a certain time.

Lovely write. Welcome to PIP!

Love,
Margherita

teddymarvelle
Junior Member

since 2007-08-26

Posts 47
california usa

4 posted 2007-08-27 09:46 AM

thanks to all you posters i am just learning about poetry most of these i wrote many years ago and knew absolutly nothing about poetry form .. so this feedback is valued much.. may the sun catch all of you smiling :P

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

5 posted 2007-08-27 12:54 PM

I really enjoyed that ending!
Hope to read more from you in days to come.
Welcome to web poetry!

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

6 posted 2007-08-27 03:15 PM

"cause I've never seen a rain
that does not get you wet
nor a lovers pain
that's easy to forget"

nor have I teddy

welcome
I enjoy your work

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

7 posted 2007-08-27 03:47 PM

Nice flow of thoughts...James

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

8 posted 2007-08-28 12:34 PM

Yes, rain has a way of washing away love pain.
And being atop a mountain gives us a new perspective on life. All our travails seem so much smaller up there.

Hi, teddy! Welcome to piptalk!

May your love life run as smoothly as this poem did!

Love & Light,
Earth Angel

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

9 posted 2007-08-28 01:28 PM

Enjoyed the read...

*~coco~*

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

10 posted 2007-08-28 04:34 PM

I've climbed up a mountain
in the pouring rain
and drank from a fountain
that was the taste of pain

and there's never been a rain
that didn't get me wet
nor a lovers pain
that i do not regret

Oh these last lines do leave a sting,
burning words into ones mind,
and I fully understand where you are coming from.

Love your work, look forward to reading more!

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