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Open Poetry #41
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Eccentricity is a Crime
| Open Poetry #41 |
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Eccentricity is a Crime |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279
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Tomorrow frightens me. My heart hammers lamely with a tremulous thump, thump. Can you hear it? It reverberates loudly, it’s ham-fisted and sluggish. To long have I thrashed about with this ache, this merciless throbbing of needs and wants. I’m drowsy and I’m not speaking of the failing from a single night’s vigilance, rather I’m acquainted with the unfathomable exhaustion chronic insomnia bequeaths. People say they know this hurt, that they too suffer what it is I experience, but they do not. The majority presuppose that a fidgety night once a month qualifies them as an insomniac. How laughable. I catnap and there have been weeks where I’ve subsisted on eight hours of respite. With sleep deprivation come the other aspects of my condition. The flickers of radiance I see behind my eyes, the thunderous knocks, and crashes, that aren’t in actuality there. Nobody views through rose-tinted glasses wakefulness. When you say you’re an insomniac they chortle behind their eyes. I’ve seen the askance looks my employers make when I tell them I need to go home, I’ve heard the muted whispers they articulate when they imagine I’m not listening. Is it a wonder I feel like a dunderhead? I recognize the truism that I’m passed over for promotion because I don’t have that; “right stuff.” The fact left unspoken though is they think it’s a swindle, a bit of humbuggery to get out of work. Doctors notes don’t matter, psychiatrists’ testimonials are worth less than the paper they’re printed on. Big Brother cares naught. Take your pills and step in line because eccentricity is a crime. |
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| © Copyright 2007 Kevin R. Middleton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Kevin, it's good to see you back! ~ but I am perturbed that your restless, sleepless nights are impinging on the quality of your days. Have you ever tried hypnosis? Perhaps that might help. I went through years of insomnia, but fortunately that's pretty much a thing of the past. When I go to bed, I literally "Let go and let God" and float away to dream land. I even cut my prayers short now because they got me thinking too much!  Bed is my safe haven where nothing can bother or hurt me. Gosh, I feel like going beddy-byes right now! Anyhoo, you've been missed. Take care, Dear Poet. Loving hug, EA P.S. I am sending you some fairy sleeping dust.  P.P.S. You wrote that very well ~ especially with so little sleep! |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Eccentricity is not a crime and insomnia is not an eccentricity I would say. This is very tough to cope with. But dear Linda really does the best thing that can be done "LET GO AND LET GOD". It can be learned to let go. Wishing you well. Your write is well done, your despair is deeply felt. Love, Margherita |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"eccentricity is a crime"  If it were, I'd be on death row. But I suppose, in the mortality department, we all are. Thanks for this one--I enjoyed the viewpoint of questioning and insecurities about "sanity" from your point of view. (I suspect everyone questions themselves on occasion--but not many are brave enough to confess that they do.) Again, I thank you. I'm happy to have the company!  |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I've had many sleepless nights and some with mere handfuls of naps strung together, but never to this extent. But I've been passed over numerous times for my 'eccentricities' and non-conformist attitudes. Good to read you again, Kevin. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Good to read you again, EV2. I have a friend who was an undiagnosed insomniac... A lot of people misunderstood and thought she was strung out on some heavy duty drugs although she wasn't at all! Good luck to you, EV! I know it can't be easy. hugs, misce' |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Thank-you all for the wonderful response to this poem. It has been a very bad week for me and my family. After sitting awake for 48 hours I wrote this poem because I just wanted to say something about insomnia and let others know this is not a laughable problem. It is a serious condition that can lead to depression, hallucinations, uncontrollable feelings, the inability to focus ones thoughts, as well as actual medical problems. I've been suffering from insomnia since I was 16 years old...I'll be 43 in a few weeks. I've run through the entire gautlet of side effects. I've been seen by doctors, and psychiatrists’ for my problem. I've had batteries of tests done and tried many different medications. All they can come up with is I don't sleep because my mind doesn't shut down. I'm not depressed, I don't feel pain, I just don't sleep. I take Ambien CR to help control it...but without some form of sleeping pill my body doesn't shut down. I once was so bad I had to be hospitalized for 3 days. I just wanted to tell the story of what it is we suffer in the hopes that maybe more people would understand this condition isn't a joke. It shouldn't be laughed at. To all the other insomniacs out there ***BIG HUG*** you're not alone. |
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froggy Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893Michigan |
It breaks my heart that you suffer with this problem. You and I have spoke on this subject a few times. I have trouble sleeping but not like you do. Hoping sleep will come to you soon. ;-) |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Kevin, I am revisiting this poem now that froggy has brought it back up in to view. I am reminded of how much I miss your poetry ~ especially your love poems which you do especially well. I truly hope that your doctors will be able to find a way to cure you of your insomnia. It must be extremely frustrating and even debilitating at times. Sending you a loving, healing hug, Linda |
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