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Open Poetry #41
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The Rain
| Open Poetry #41 |
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The Rain |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
The lightning however slender the fingers plays out sharp tunes on the soft cloud the flowing harp The thunder However loud and unrhymed entertains the drunken sun drinking still from dusk to down The Rain However strong can't clean the messy stain to have a clean night for those stars to dream along Those birds however prepared stay at home reading the miscounted music sheet no song And helpless [This message has been edited by TomMark (08-20-2007 01:35 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 TomMark - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jess Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 243Washington |
Tom Mark Writes an interesting first post One with good imagery That makes me want to read more of his work In the near future  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I have been awaiting your first poem. I am very pleased. A belated welcome to Passions, Tom. You posted over 50 comments before allowing us to see your thoughts, and they have been expressed beautifully. Please, check your Email for a Very Special Greeting! " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
TomMark~ Welcome to the hallowed halls of PiP~ You've penned some nice thoughts here~ **Only because you encourage constructive critiques, do I offer this ... perhaps you could correct your spelling errors/typos** They happen to us all at one time or another, but can be edited~ Again ... WELCOME ! *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
amazing ... welcome to pip, I look forward to reading more from you! ~~**~~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A niece piece of writing...James |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
Interesting ‘write’!... I am particularly fond of the beginning: “The lightening however slander the fingers plays out sharp tunes on the soft cloud … flowing harp” [two tiny questions: Line # 2: was that intended to be ‘slander’ or ‘slender’ and Line # 8: ‘drunk’ or ‘drunken’?] Applause!! |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
Thank you all my dear poets for the read and for the kind comments and correction. my spelling is bad, indeed. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
You hit the 'Mark' with this one, Tom! A fine first post to showcase your talent!  EA |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
A very nice entrance to Pip. Welcome and may you enjoy your time here. each time makes me stronger but after the fall we get back up and move on because the past is the past and there is no tomorrow if remaining in still waters while the river moves on |
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EmilySian Junior Member
since 2007-08-19
Posts 21England |
I like this! Lot's of well used imagery. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
well done... the progression flows nicely... the ending..an unexpected bit of twist that ties the rest together well.. I enjoyed! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Not my favorite position on the replies..but I feel inclined to share my thoughts never-the-less... this: "The Rain However strong can't clean the messy stain" I loved. I felt it to the hilt. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" ~Unknown~ |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
Welcome to PIP, an applause if I may, fine work indeed! |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
The Rain However strong can't clean the messy stain to have a clean night for those stars to dream along Those birds however prepared stay at home reading the miscounted music sheet no song And helpless I applaud the entire write....and the ending gave the rest of the poem...body, construtive meaning... I loved it...thank you and welcome to PIP |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I felt a bit sad reading this, and am still pondering those birds.... By the way, welcome Pips, and thank you for reading my poetry! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"Those birds however prepared stay at home reading the miscounted music sheet no song And helpless" love this Tom welcome |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
 *~coco~* |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
Would like to read more of you....When are you going to post some new poems? |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I had hoped to find a poem you posted to get to know your writing, and enjoyed this very much. Better late than never, so welcome to Passions.  |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
welcome -Juju |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
You have been so wonderful and supportive in your responses to my poetry. Thank you and thank you for sharing this beautiful writing by you. It's a pleasure to read your work. Welcome to PiP -- and know that you often make my day start with a smile. Alison |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 Good morning poet-friend. Hope your weekend brings pleasant weather and miles of poetry to your doorstep. Once again, thank you for all the time you spend supporting all the writers at Pips. |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
Thanks for a thought I can see in my mind's eye Looking forward to reading more of your work in the future adagio |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Welcome to you my friend... what a wonderful first post, I hope to read more of you... RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sadly I was not here when you joined PIP so let me now say "Welcome" and "good to read you" I will be reading more of your work hopefully |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Tom, this is a very very beautiful first entry, I have not been around then, otherwise I certainly would have replied. But now what really made my day was discovering Dixie's reply. Dixie!! Welcome back!! wow, I read and reread the date of entering and yes here you are. Big hugs (((((Dixie)))) Thank you dear Tom. Love, Margherita |
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