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Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989


0 posted 2007-08-15 06:10 AM



Atonement

Is this   punishment
for some last life
and those deeds then done,
was I ever possibly someone
so unsharing, so unkind
as to deserve this present

was I blind

to compassion,
to others pain
was that me
constantly trying to gain
through the misery and misfortune
of others?

Did I not care
for my sisters, and brothers?

Atonement, I would gladly make
for these atrocities
while praying to the heavens
Please, do not let that person
be me

here in this moment,
here in the now
let my footsteps
fall, somehow
upon another road;
a different trail

Don't let me falter...
Don't let me fail    myself
or humanity

if there's a next time around
let me live assiduously
spirited with affettuoso.


© Copyright 2007 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved
bel1e
Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631

1 posted 2007-08-15 06:42 AM


this is poignant & confessional...and rivetting, my friend~

~always an inspiration to immerse myself in your writing~

  

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2007-08-15 07:34 AM


yes.... so much I could delve into here..
the idea or concept of karma, the present awareness, the future wanting to change, the knowledge an old soul gains by wanting not to be.. in the same mistakes..

well done  


SPIRIT
Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745
California Desert
3 posted 2007-08-15 09:04 AM


I am pretty certain of two past lives and they have 'flavored' this one considerably. I m hopeful that at least I am straddling the fence between good and bad this time around and next time I may be able to get that dragging bad leg over the fence...can always hope.

This was a great read - thank you

Dinah

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

4 posted 2007-08-15 09:13 AM


Awareness...and
a prayer of atonement.
A fitting combo. Thoughtful writing!

Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina
5 posted 2007-08-15 11:23 AM


Very thoughtful indeed. I love your style, it's very real.

"Well I wish that you would cheat with someone, 'cause you're like diggin' holes in water and we know that can't be done."

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

6 posted 2007-08-15 11:37 AM


Belle~ your replies always touch me and I thank you so....
It pleases me so, that you enjoy my meager offerings.  Hugs.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

7 posted 2007-08-15 11:39 AM


Capt, thank you for looking deeper into the words and seeing inside of the soul.  Your thoughts as always, are so appreciated.
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

8 posted 2007-08-15 11:40 AM


Spirit, I do understand exactly where your coming from.
*clink*  Here's to the next life.  

Kahlil, thank you and I am glad that you enjoyed.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

9 posted 2007-08-15 11:41 AM


Edward, I've never really considered myself to have a style to be honest, but I truly am grateful for your peeking in on my words.  Thank you, sir.
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
10 posted 2007-08-15 09:19 PM


i like your 'style' too
its very timely and fits well with the ways of this world today, without being
preachy or highbrow, its very accessible to the man /woman on the street
good stuff !!!

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2007-08-15 09:34 PM


See? Guilt over something of nothing
is such a heavy "sin"...

and yet?

You are loved, beloved, and nothing else
will do...

other than to have our Gentlest of Spirits
know when they might even think...

that they have faltered, but for a moment.

No wonder you are loved!


vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
12 posted 2007-08-16 12:45 PM


nice read
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

13 posted 2007-08-16 01:04 PM


Mish, I would never be one to be preachy about anything, heaven knows I would have no right to do so.  I'm glad you found it to be something that has something to offer to all of human kind.  Its merely an introspection of myself and I thank you kindly for supporting me as you always have hon.  Thanks much, and big ole hugs.  
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

14 posted 2007-08-16 01:05 PM


Karilea...lawdy woman are you trying to make me smile or what??   Thank you so much for saying so tho' I'm not so certain I am deserving....but you know I love ya.  
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

15 posted 2007-08-16 01:06 PM


vandana, thanks hon and it is good to see you round here again.  
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
16 posted 2007-08-16 01:29 PM


Affectionately we come into this world,
affectionately we must live; sharing with all we have.  
But we are not perfect, so we make mistakes.
As my grandpa would say:
“Son, live and learn, but live!”
Your poem reminded me of the conversations my
Grandpa and I had.  Love the write.

JL


Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

17 posted 2007-08-16 01:37 PM


JL, thanks and I think maybe your grandpa was a wise man.  Thanks!
MoonShadow
Senior Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 943
Dark side of the Moon.
18 posted 2007-08-18 04:11 PM


   Would that we could travel again
     and chose paths least taken,
       if not have the courage or
         strength to alter our
           direction before
               we die.

        Wonderful write, Milady.
        You may not have a style,
         but you do have style.
      
               MoonShadow
.

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
19 posted 2007-08-20 10:26 AM


understanding this.....i do love your writes from the soul....

~~**~~
Life is a balance
of holding on and letting go (KU)

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

20 posted 2007-08-20 06:51 PM


boy, I believe we've all wondered this, how many times in our lives....sound advice, and love the creative way you emit such kindness of life's expressions...

thank you

teddymarvelle
Junior Member
since 2007-08-26
Posts 47
california usa
21 posted 2007-08-29 10:01 AM


perhaps we are all paying for the sins of past lives... how many roads huh?
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
22 posted 2007-08-29 12:23 PM


good read
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
23 posted 2007-09-03 10:42 PM



introspection is difficult at the very least gentle Donna
and this is you, at your best

you are well loved

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
24 posted 2007-09-04 01:21 AM


"affettuoso"  -- Donna, I love the use of this in the poem and love the poem --atonement we could all do better with, I think.   But, I think, from what I know of you, you are becoming your pen name.  *hugs*....jo


Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

25 posted 2007-09-04 08:24 AM


You are all such a wonderful gang and so gracious in your comments. Thank you, each so very much.  

after a fall I get back up,
move on 'cause the past is the past and theres no tomorrow if remaining in still waters while the river flows on ~dsmith

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
26 posted 2007-09-04 09:23 AM


My l'il darlin', I have had the same thoughts myself when things get dark and dreary!

I want to wrap my 'wings' around you and say that I know that your soul has always been a divine one! ~ and things will get better!

Oh, and do the best that you can do in this lifetime so that your next one won't be a living hell!!! ~ lol Just kidding, darlin'!

You share so much of yourself through your writing. Everyone who reads your poetry, must surely come away with something. I know that I do.

Love you and your Gentle Spirit!

Linda

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
27 posted 2007-09-04 10:46 AM


Hi Donna....you speak of things of heart with the beauty that is ingrained there from life after life.  There is no fault in questioning or in asking forgiveness...only fault in not listening to that true self.  
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

28 posted 2007-09-04 03:31 PM


Dear ladies, you are so very kind to me.  Thank you and big hugs to you both.

after a fall I get back up,
move on 'cause the past is the past and theres no tomorrow if remaining in still waters while the river flows on ~dsmith

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
29 posted 2007-09-05 11:35 AM


Dear Donna, just the other day my son came up with this karmic theme (moon knots ...) and we did wonder too about what may influence our present life from those preceding.
A highly intriguing questioning. You have given it the touch of your beautiful, gentle soul and me too I feel like reaching out to hug you and to whisper in your ear "you have such a beautiful awareness and humbleness, that no matter what I must say that you are on the right Path, the Path of Love and forgiveness".

Truly touching!

Love and hugs.
Margherita

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
30 posted 2007-09-05 11:47 AM


Ohhhh, I liked this Donna.

So many questions and thoughts spinning around to ponder with past lives. I love how you wove the question of kharma through this. Very much enjoyed!

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

31 posted 2007-09-06 10:31 AM


You all, are truly to wonderful in your replies.  Humble thanks to you each, pip friends.

after a fall I get back up,
move on 'cause the past is the past and theres no tomorrow if remaining in still waters while the river flows on ~dsmith

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
32 posted 2007-09-06 03:07 PM


I absolutely loved the flow to this piece and the gentle, subtle internal rhyme used within. It is not often a writer is able to gently phase rhyme into a piece so as to catch the reader unaware but in turn smoothen the flow of the piece. You did this remarkably
Ruth

I am nothing special...and my name will soon be forgotten,but I've loved another with all my heart and soul,and to me,this has always been enough.~N.S

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