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Open Poetry #41
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2007-08-09 02:12 PM


.


Snow falls
On the forest
On leafless branches
Above the frozen shore

On chain link fences
Around old wooden houses
On a pair of swings
The small low hill

Snow lies
On empty meadows
The buried field
A country road

On cars
Along the concrete curbs
Parked in silent neighborhoods

Snow on stolid mountains
Another year closes
Upon an end

Yet each time
Even now
Under a winter moon

Looking back
I fall
In love again


.

© Copyright 2007 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2007-08-09 03:20 PM


just because it's a joy to read~~

M

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2007-08-09 03:26 PM


it is a pleasure to read...
indeed....

enjoyed

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2007-08-10 12:40 PM


Beautiful work... I thoroughly enjoyed! *S*
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

4 posted 2007-08-10 03:40 PM


I cannot help but feel amazement each time I read your work.  I feel that you marvelously craft each word and phrase with so many layers of meanings.  For instance, (and you may have or may not have intended this) but the structure is so tight here that you can read it frontwards or backwards and not lose its meaning.  You begin and end with falling.  The use of snow  is perfect.  Needless to say, I loved it.  Still in awe...
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
5 posted 2007-08-10 08:51 PM


.


Thank you all

This sat on my PC for a while.
I write better when I take an instant's emotional vision
and smooth it's rough edges in the days after.

Thanks all again


John


I am, in a way,  very fortunate.


.

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
6 posted 2007-08-11 11:52 AM


This 'write' is quite excellent 'as is'!
[however, I will assuredly look forward to
   any further 'polishing'?!]

serious, sustained applause!!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2007-08-11 03:57 PM


I knew a poem entitle "December" would most likely cool me down, this hot summer's day. ~ and it did! But the tender closing also warmed my heart.


EA

Hyaunt
Member
since 2007-07-12
Posts 74

8 posted 2007-08-11 06:27 PM


Again, and again
I fall
in the dark world
letting Love guide me through
into now a darker world
with a brightest hope
to bear the darkest worry

"How do they get my surname right?!"

enjoyed your finely smoothed poem.

Hyaunt


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