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Open Poetry #41
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To Do or Die
| Open Poetry #41 |
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To Do or Die |
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Roysie Member
since 2007-08-05
Posts 102Canada |
To do or die the message was sent And all brave souls knew what it meant The time had come at liberty's call To stand in line and risk it all To bid goodbye to a way of life A comfortable home a wonderful wife To wipe away the children's tears And never show a soldier's fears Oh some will fail and run away To live with themselves another day And feast upon what others gave That feckfully few we call the brave The cannons roar and split the night The bodies fly a hideous sight The bullets wail above the wall At times it seems they'll kill us all Brother could you take my hand I' m slipping now you understand Please tell them that I loved them all And I'll be with them when I fall For what you say as if you knew We could have turned our backs like you And let the villains have their way To pay the price another day No never mind you'll never know We hope you'll never have to go Where eagles soar and brave men try For us for all we do and die |
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| © Copyright 2007 Roysie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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time prophet Member
since 2003-07-30
Posts 371In New Zealand Amongst the Ancient Trees |
Obviously punctuation is not one of your strong points. My apologies, I have just noted that you do not welcome critiques. Despite your providing some scathing and unwelcome ones elsewhere. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Roy, I like this. I've been reading a lot of civil war books lately and thought this was well done. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Valor often comes with great personal sacrifice ~ but with it also comes the opportunity to save others. I enjoyed your poem. Love, Harmony, & Peace, EA |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Just last night we watched The Best Years of Our Lives ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0036868/ ) and your poem brought that immediately back to my mind this morning, when first I read it. If you have not seen the movie, I would recommend it, not so much for anything OTHER than its relativity to today. Forget the romance, but understand, those and any of the following readers of your poem, that this spoke directly to what we live through, today. It is, indeed, a classic, as could be your poem, should time allow. Thank you, Roy. |
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Roysie Member
since 2007-08-05
Posts 102Canada |
time prophet, I'm pleased to see that you've come to a realization...that I don't like critiques. How you reached this conclusion is unclear...but I'm glad you had one anyway. The lack of punctuation is a poetic form that I use as I wish. Perhaps you should focus your future studies on capitalization of names and leave poetic forms to those that have a glimmer of hope that they may use them. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Roy, please see the Member's Area/Help for your profile, and what can be, or not be included/excluded from one's choice of suggested responses to one's own poetry. A little education in another's website goes a long way in familiarity. Once that is done, write on! |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
In poetry a comma or period can be omitted when the line break makes the pause it would cause instead. Nice to see you rhyming in this poem, meter is still not percise. Here at passions little facts like "misspelling" and slightly off rhyme or meter are overweighed by content of the poem. This has well expressed content. Gloom |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This reminds me of Churchill's remarks... never have so few done so much for so many. Excellent write! |
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Roysie Member
since 2007-08-05
Posts 102Canada |
This poem makes me a little emotional every time I read it. There was a last line which I wrote but left off here: God bless you all. |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Roysie I felt the emotion, and I think this poem is very heartfelt. I enjoyed it .. thank you for sharing. Alison |
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