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Open Poetry #41
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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2007-08-08 08:55 PM


One ring on her finger, and
so much for being right, she says,
pointed inward, and symbolize
"I am taken," visualize
a little piece of silver and
so much for all your meanings when
all the words you say
don't say a thing.

[not sure if this is finished,
can't get it out of my head though.]

© Copyright 2007 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
1 posted 2007-08-10 10:54 AM


Allysa,

   Over the years, I become more perplexed about meanings.  It sounds like you are soul searching now, when you're young.  What does "Spoken for" really mean?  What are the connotations?  Some good, some not-so-good, eh?

   It's good to read you once again.  I admire the depth from which you write.  I've always thought your poetic potential is unlimited!  Keep writing, Sweet One.

   Take care, A.

hugs,

cathy

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
2 posted 2007-08-12 05:47 PM


Pretty thouht-provoking.  I am glad that you didn't wait until it was 'finished' to post this.  Sometimes, it seems the ring is supposed to make up for all the words that mean absolutely nothing.

Did I just repeat you?

A - the possible parrot

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2007-08-12 06:11 PM


Hmmm. I think you are right about the unfinished thought here, but I also think that idea of "unfinished" could be worked quite deftly into a re-write.

After all, being "spoken for" is just the beginning of a myriad of resulting emotions, and the years will prove many more words (many of them better left unsaid as well)

Ever your fan, I yam.

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