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Open Poetry #41

When Angels Go Away

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

0 posted 2007-08-08 05:22 PM

When Angels Go Away

Are you wrestling with
desires and insecurities.
Are you wondering whats
going on just like me.
Does today seems too close
and unpredictable.
Does tomorrow seem
far away and unattainable.
If you could dispose
of the garbage that
accumulates and
messes up the way,
what would your heart
have to say?

JamesLee
08August
2007

[This message has been edited by JamesMichael (08-09-2007 06:54 AM).]

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

1 posted 2007-08-08 05:43 PM

'real' and timely write...

[My guess is there are way too many of us (amid the "Runaway American Dream") who are thinking and feeling these kinds of things?!]

applause!

gwaihir
Member

since 2007-07-20

Posts 58
Sub-tropical, USA

2 posted 2007-08-08 09:04 PM

Interesting questions you pose here James. Though I don't quite understand where the title comes in. I hope you don't mind my saying so but I think that a few small changes such as active voice and punctuation could make this a stronger piece. See below for suggestions.

Do you wrestle
with desires
and insecurities?
Do you wonder
what's going on
just like me?
Does today seem
too close, unpredictable?
Does tomorrow seem
unattainable, far away?
If you could dispose
of the garbage
that accumulates
and messes up the way,
what would your heart
have to say?

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2007-08-09 06:52 AM

Thank you secondhanddreampoet and gwaihir for the nice responses...
Gwaihir the changes make sense, but sometimes I write this way purposely to illustrate that some things that are happening in my life don't make sense, a conflict that is hard for me to accept...a problem that can not easily be resolved..I don't want this to flow smooth as silk...
When angels go away simply means that someone special is not in my life right now, because she is far away, but not forever, just for a season...James

MegMeg
Member

since 2007-05-14

Posts 85
Virginia

4 posted 2007-08-10 01:13 PM

a nice peom and lovely question.

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