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Open Poetry #41
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Bronzeage
Member
since 2007-07-20
Posts 197


0 posted 2007-07-28 12:07 PM


No where else to go,
I say good night and turning
the corner shielded
from light, breathe deeply, the last
perfume clinging to my beard.

Hollow windows mock
my walk, witness to the failed
pursuit, panting sprint
and overshot, no better
than wide or short of the mark.

Push too hard, too fast,
pushed under, pulled over edge
and past the ringing
phone, answered, but not asked.
Please do not leave a message.


The day is not now,
Anything but yes, means no.
Perhaps will be why,
I will wait here awhile, but
I know sometime is never.


© Copyright 2007 Bron Zeage - All Rights Reserved
gwaihir
Member
since 2007-07-20
Posts 58
Sub-tropical, USA
1 posted 2007-07-28 09:04 AM


This is a good one.  Although I have not been on that side of the door this gives me an idea of what that must be like.  Such fatalistic resignation that this love, though attempted, will not be.    
secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
2 posted 2007-07-28 10:27 AM


very 'real', emotive, powerful (narrative) 'write'!

I seem to be virtually incapable of doing 'direct realism'...
but, I grandly admire those who can!!

to me, this was like what I call a "slice of 'everyperson's-life'
dejavu" [likely engendering that 'bittersweet'?...'been there-
done that' kind of feeling in many (most?!) readers]

long-sustained applause!!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
3 posted 2007-07-28 11:14 AM


Brought powerful emotions.
You have a way.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2007-07-30 07:16 AM


Very nice...James
BBGrrl
Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181
BC, Canada
5 posted 2007-07-31 12:41 PM


"please do not leave a message"

Powerful emotion, succintly written.

*ugh*

So cold and desolate, Bronze. *MUST HUG BRONZE*


Ahhh - that's better.


nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2007-07-31 08:44 AM


Push too hard, too fast,
pushed under, pulled over edge
and past the ringing
phone, answered, but not asked.
Please do not leave a message.


The day is not now,
Anything but yes, means no.
Perhaps will be why,
I will wait here awhile, but
I know sometime is never.


Reminds me of my anxiety days~~ I no longer make it possible for someone to leave me a message. I would rather they call  back  when I can answer~~

M

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